Скачать или смотреть 📕Mom shoved a gorgeous girl, said 'you know what to do!'

So, my mom, bless her heart, finally decided to take matters into her own hands. She literally shoved this stunning girl my way with a wink and the classic line: "You know what to do!" I thought... finally! My big moment. 😏

What followed was... well, let's just say a HUGE misunderstanding. 🤦‍♂️ Turns out, this 'date' was actually here for something completely different. Like, English tutoring. 🤯 The moment Mom yelled "Where'd Hannah go?!" my brain completely blue-screened. 💀 Yep, the gorgeous woman I just... *tutored*... was my childhood neighbor, all grown up!

From trying to make her disappear off a balcony (don't ask 😬) to her showing up for 'lessons' covered in my hickeys (awkward! 🥵), things just spiraled. She started crashing my painfully set-up blind dates, showing off unexpected talents (violin virtuoso! 🎻), and generally turning my life into a rom-com gone rogue. My parents are either plotting or totally oblivious. My dad thinks she's a gold digger, my mom wants us married yesterday. 🤷‍♂️

Seriously, how did I end up here? With a girl who's secretly a martial arts master 🥋 and somehow makes me ask for... *leg pics*? 😂 This isn't just a story about a mistaken identity; it's about pure, unadulterated chaos and finding something... surprisingly real? Maybe? I don't even know anymore. Send help. Or Balenciagas. 👀