Oh I'm Pedantic? I'll Show You PEDANTIC!

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Generation Z, Alpha those digital nativesthat have ushered in a veritable apocalypse of the English
language. Their writing, if one can even dignify it with such a term, is a grotesque pastiche of
abbreviated atrocities, syntactical abominations, and lexical nightmares that would make Strunk and
White spin in their graves.
Look at casual disregard for the most basic rules of English, indeed is nothing short of breathtaking.
Subject-verb agreement? An antiquated concept, apparently. The correct use of apostrophes? A relic
of a bygone era. And don't even get me started on their treatment of the poor, defenseless
semicolon; how to use a comma properly? It's as if they've declared war on punctuation itself.
Syntactically, their sentences are a labyrinth of run-ons, fragments, and misplaced modifiers that
would make even the most patient English teacher implode. Coherence is sacrificed on the altar of
brevity, with complex ideas reduced to a string of emojis and acronyms that require a Ph.D. in
cryptography to decipher.
Lexically, the current generation's vocabulary is a curious amalgamation of internet slang, meme
speak, and bastardized neologisms that seem designed to confound anyone over the age of 25.
while "literally" has been stripped of all meaning through chronic misuse.
We are what paragraph one? Not even that this is still the hook. And I'm gonna go on a full
linguistic rant right now and you caused it.
This writing is a veritable testament to the law of linguistic entropy, a steady descent into
communicative chaos. It's as if they've taken the evolution of language and put it in
reverse,transforming any comunicative case into what I would call the indecipherable hieroglyphs
of the digital age. Good like finding a rosetta stone for that.
Where were we?
Let's get back to the article shall we.
No actually I'm not done I'm gonna destroy this, Prepare for utter annihilation. You thought you
knew pedantic? You called me pedantic? I'll show you pedantic.
Let's dissect this linguistic abomination with the precision of a surgeon and the sass of a disgruntled
linguist:
"Medieval times were, like, really weird."
We begin with a sentence that perfectly encapsulates the decay of formal English. The use of "like"

as a filler word is a hallmark of colloquial speech, jarringly out of place in what purports to be a
historical description. The vague descriptor "weird" lacks specificity and academic rigor, failing to
convey any meaningful information about the medieval period.
"For entertainment, they watched guys with metal suits stab other guys on horses."
This sentence is a masterclass in oversimplification and informal register. The repeated use of
"guys" to describe knights and combatants strips away all historical context and gravitas. The verb
"stab" is reductive, failing to capture the complexity of medieval combat. The syntax, while
grammatically correct, is painfully simplistic.
"Everyone ate giant turkey legs."
Here we have a sweeping generalization that commits the logical fallacy of hasty generalization.
The use of "everyone" is hyperbolic and historically inaccurate. Moreover, the anachronistic
reference to turkey, a New World bird, in a European medieval context is glaringly erroneous.
"Pepsi was served in brilliantly decorated mugs."
This sentence abruptly introduces a blatant anachronism without any transitional element, creating
cognitive dissonance for the reader. The juxtaposition of a modern soft drink with medieval
accouterments is jarring and nonsensical.
"Wait, no. We're describing the theme restaurant Medieval Times."
The interjection "Wait, no" marks a sudden shift in narrative perspective, breaking the fourth wall in
a manner more suited to casual conversation than article writing. Moreover the use of "We're"
introduces a first-person plural perspective that was absent in the preceding text, creating an
inconsistent narrative voice.
The author's attempt at humor through the subversion of expectations falls flat due to poor
execution. Instead of a clever bait-and-switch, we're left with a disjointed paragraph that fails both
as historical commentary and as comedy. It's a testament to the corrosive influence of casual
internet writing on more formal genres, and a stark reminder of why maintaining linguistic
standards is crucial for effective communication, particularly in the absense of linguistic cues.

#metatron #rant #debunking