How to be a Crack Master

The Cracker's Dozen Ticklist from The Roaches Guidebook - Words by Richie Patterson:

My personal opinion is that the modern climber is somewhat under-skilled in the area of crack climbing, so in a spirit of generosity(?) I have set a task which when completed will (maybe) enable even the indoor addict to face that prime stopper of Gritstone climbing - the crack.
Within the text I have selected a ticklist of Ramshaw's best crack climbs that should enable any climber that completes them to hold their head high and proud in any pub in the land. Hopefully this mastery will lead them to espouse the virtues of the bloodied hand, (fist, elbow and knee?) and to continue to pass on the grand gritstone tradition, which Johnny Dawes so presciently called "the best forgotten art"

1. Phallic Crack HVD - spectacular climbing on a big buttress.
2. Great Scene Baby S - Short and stiff to hone the technique
3. Tricouni Crack HS - Not quite hard as nails
4. The Crank VS - Now you're really learning. A Joe Brown crack. A jammer's milestone
5. Green Crack HVS - An awkward change of angle
6. Great Zawn HVS - Wide, ballsy and committing
7. Brown's Crack E1 - Very short, but just plain hard.
8. Foord's Folly E2 - Thin hand technique can but help.
9. Imposition E2 - Another difficult change in angle
10. The Undertaker E3 - Short lived but perplexing
11. Ramshaw Crack E4 - Hands to fists to armbar
12. National Acrobat E6 - The path to true mastery
13. Melvin Bragg V8 - (For the Bakers Dozen), Off-fists, off-feet, off your rocker? you better be. The hardest crack in Staffordshire.

It should also be noted that on the final send of National Acrobat, we both started from the small ledge under the roof and not right from the ground after falling off.

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0:00 Phallic Crack - HVD
0:47 Great Scene Baby - S
1:14 Tricouni Crack - HS
1:42 The Crank - VS
2:13 Green Crack - HVS
3:21 Great Zawn - HVS
4:37 Brown's Crack - E1
5:35 Foord's Folly - E2
6:50 Imposition - E2
8:14 The Undertaker - E3
10:17 Ramshaw Crack - E4
11:22 National Acrobat - E6
15:08 Melvin Bragg - V8