Can I run a Marathon with NO training at 3 days notice?

Thinking of running a Marathon in 2023? Here's what happened when I signed up for the Manchester Marathon 3 days before race day and tried to run it without training.

My logic for undertaking this challenge at short notice:

1) YOLO
2) When I play football I'm a 'covers every blade of grass' type of player so surely I could manage a Marathon, right!?

If this gets 1 million views I'll quit my office career and become a Youtuber.
If it gets 999,999 views, spreadsheets for the rest of my working life and Boston, New York or London Marathon as punishment.

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