Скачать или смотреть Step 2: How to Validate Your Partner's Perspective | Repair & Reconnect #3

Now it's time to really listen. In Step 2 of the Repair & Reconnect Exercise, you'll learn how to summarize your partner's experience in their own words and validate their emotions so they feel seen, heard, and safe.

This step is about gaining a better understanding of your partner's perspective and the feelings they experienced during that tough moment. We're not here to figure out who was right or wrong. We're here to see the situation through their eyes, which is incredibly powerful for healing and reconnection.

The goal: understand, not fix or defend.

HOW STEP 2 WORKS:

THE SPEAKER'S JOB:
Share your story of what you experienced during the challenging moment. Describe your experience without blame or criticism.

Instead of: "You ignored me" or "You were in a bad mood"
Try: "I felt hurt when I heard that tone" or "I saw you look upset and I imagined you were frustrated with me"

Remember: you're not a mind reader. You interpreted their actions a certain way, but you don't know what was really going on in their head.

THE LISTENER'S JOB:
Simply listen. No interrupting, no defending, no jumping in to explain your side. Take notes if it helps. Focus on seeing the situation from your partner's point of view.

After they finish, summarize what they said in their words (not yours). Focus on the most important parts, especially feelings and needs.

Then ask: "Did I get it?" or "Is there anything else I need to know to understand your perspective better?"

VALIDATION:
Acknowledge anything you can understand from their perspective. This is where the magic happens.

Validation examples:
"I can see how that would have felt overwhelming."
"It makes sense that you'd feel hurt."
"I totally understand why you'd be frustrated in that situation."
"Your reaction really makes sense to me. I get it now."
"If I were in your shoes, I'd feel the exact same way."

Validation doesn't mean "I agree with everything you said." It means "I get it. I understand how this felt for you."

When your partner feels heard and understood, connection becomes possible again.

SWITCH ROLES:
Once the speaker has shared and the listener has summarized and validated, switch roles. Both of you need to feel heard before moving to Step 3.

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GET THE COMPLETE MINI-COURSE:

🎁 Download the Repair & Reconnect Workbook (FREE):
Get the complete exercise guide with prompts for each step.
→ https://megan-haase-lpcc.kit.com/0ec9...

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WATCH THE FULL SERIES IN ORDER:

Video 1: The Road to Repair (Introduction)
Video 2: Feelings First (Step 1)
Video 3: Stepping Into Their Shoes (Step 2 - you're here)
Video 4: Understanding the Past in the Present (Step 3)
Video 5: Owning Your Part (Step 4)
Video 6: Looking Forward (Step 5)

Full Playlist:    • Repair & Reconnect After a Fight | Free 6-...  

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READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

📊 Gottman Relationship Checkup ($99)
See your patterns with listening and validation in your relationship.
→ https://meganhaaselmhc.com/relationsh...

📚 Relationship Builder Program ($300)
Master validation, active listening, and all the skills from this exercise.
→ 13 modules with 90 videos and 35 practical exercises
→ https://meganhaaselmhc.com/relationsh...

💬 Couples Therapy
Practice these skills with professional guidance in your specific situations.
→ In-person in San Luis Obispo or online therapy in CA, WA, FL, SC
→ Book your free consultation: https://megan-haase.clientsecure.me

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ABOUT MEGAN HAASE:
I'm a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) and Gottman Workshop Leader specializing in couples therapy. I help couples develop the skills to truly hear and validate each other, even during conflict.

📧 Get free relationship tips: https://meganhaaselmhc.com
📍 Based in San Luis Obispo, California | Serving CA, WA, FL, SC

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TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro: Step 2 - Stepping Into Their Shoes
0:30 - The goal: understand, not fix
1:00 - The speaker's role
1:45 - Avoid "you" statements
2:15 - The listener's role: just listen
2:50 - Summarize in their words
3:20 - Ask: "Did I get it?"
3:45 - How to validate
4:30 - Validation examples
5:15 - Switch roles
5:40 - When both feel heard, move to Step 3

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