Скачать или смотреть THE GRAPE INFERNO 1977 (Audiobook) Short Horror Story by Dante Halloway

The Grape Inferno by Dante Halloway

Gertrude and Finger Grape had lived a long life—too long, in their opinion. Retirement was dragging its feet, and honestly, they were bored out of their wrinkly skulls. So, like any sane elderly couple, they decided to retire early… by setting their house on fire.

“Are we sure about this, Finger?” Gertrude asked, pouring gasoline in a circle around their floral couch.

“Absolutely, dear,” Finger replied, striking a match. “We go out in style.”

The house roared to life with flames, and Finger cranked up the record player. ABBA’s Dancing Queen blared through the inferno.

They twirled and shuffled, flames licking at their orthopedic shoes. Gertrude did a high kick that nearly dislocated her hip, while Finger attempted the moonwalk but tripped over a burning ottoman.

The fire got closer, smoke filled their lungs, and as they finally went up in flames, a shadowy figure emerged.

It was the Grim Reaper—wearing sunglasses and holding a pack of cigarettes.

“Hell of a send-off,” Death said, offering them each a smoke. “Respect.”

Gertrude took a drag and exhaled. “You know,” she purred, sidling up to the Reaper, “you look real good in that robe.”

Finger raised an eyebrow. “Gertrude…”

“Oh hush, Finger. We’ve been married sixty years, and if we’re going out, we’re going out with a bang.”

Death looked between the two flaming seniors. “I, uh…” He glanced at his wrist, where there was no watch. “I do have a tight schedule.”

Gertrude traced a finger down his bony chest. “You escort souls all night long. Don’t you ever want to… let loose?”

Death sighed, rubbing his skeletal temples. “Why is it always the old ones?”

And that was how, instead of going directly to the afterlife, Gertrude, Finger, and the Grim Reaper had one hell of a farewell party.

The neighbors never recovered.

THE END.