Nervous System Pattern: Self-Censorship as a Strategy to Avoid Social Ostracism, Shame or Punishment

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// 2023 CHANNEL UPDATE //

I’ve moved on from Mobility Mastery (self fascia release) in order to focus on teaching Kinetix, my method of root cause discovery for pain and dis-ease that involves partner fascia release as a “diagnostics” (and regeneration) tool. Kinetix is a complete scientific methodology that I teach to friends, partners and professionals alike inside The Kinetix Academy.

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********** // VIDEO DESCRIPTION // *********


Signs you may be operating with a nervous system pattern of self-censorship:
Mild to extreme anxiety when you have something to say, whether to a parent, friend or boss, and you let the anxiety/fear/sweating/heart palpitations stop you from saying anything.

If this pattern formed in relation to a specific sex (in my case MEN, but it could be with women too) then it will show up the most in those relationships.

You may feel a terror that convinces you you’re going to DIE if you go through with opening your mouth and uttering words.

Noticing that you have opinions and beliefs that come up inside during conversations with friends and family, but you keep those beliefs and opinions to yourself.

Obedience to authority without stopping to question what you’re being told to do, think or believe.

Adapting your personality to fit whoever you’re around in order to fit in and “belong.”But no one really knows who you are inside, since you’re always mirroring other people.

A feeling of not knowing who you are. Lacking purpose and feeling restless inside but lacking an internal compass. This means you’ve possibly censored yourself internally. You’ve taken self censorship to the level of BEING and living, not just speaking.

How to break this pattern:

First I think it’s important to understand that this pattern was created for a REASON - because at some point, likely in childhood, you learned that speaking your mind resulted in punishment, shame or some other emotional pain. This is important because it’s entirely possible that starting to speak your mind NOW, as an adult, might shock some of the people in your life. They may not like the real you. Be prepared for this, and make the decision ahead of time that living authentically is more important than feelings of rejection or disconnection.

Share your real thoughts/opinions/beliefs with friends or in social situations where the risks are lower (than say, while dating or in a marriage/partnership or with parents/family).

If you have a pattern of extreme self-censorship with men or women in particular, start noticing how your body feels when you’re around people who fit this criteria. Notice if you have something to say that you suppress, and try speaking up.

Practice being ok feeling misunderstood and learn to self-validate.

Don’t attach your sense of safety to what other people think about you - practice being ok with discomfort, and begin placing a higher priority on authenticity and being true to who you are over any false sense of safety.

If you DON’T know yourself or your truth, and you suspect you’ve censored yourself internally:
Notice what your BODY does in various life situations, when you say certain things or have the urge to speak.

Notice if you feel anxious, if you feel contraction in your gut, tension in your jaw or throat (or anywhere else), if you’re sweating or cold or hot…these are all clues you can use to find your way back to you.

When you DO speak - observe yourself and the people you’re around. Are you speaking to get external validation, or are you speaking from a strong sense of self?

When do you feel the most connected to yourself? Is it when you’re alone, singing to music in your car, when you’re doing activities like hiking, tennis, trail running or jiu jitsu? WHY do you feel like yourself there?

If you listen to podcasts or interviews - start to notice your internal reactions to what other people say, and let yourself talk inside, even if what comes out at first is judgment, resentment, jealousy…these are all clues about what you VALUE that are being mirrored for you in other people, and can help you find your own voice.