This Is Serious Mum - TISM - (He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River

TISM - (He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River (I'm On The Drug That Killed River Phoenix).

I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix*.

I saw his body thrashing round.
I saw his pulse rate going down.
I saw him in convulsive throes.
I said "I'll have one of those."

Hillary** had,
Hillary had,
Hillary had it in his veins.

Hillary had Everest in his veins;
Armstrong*** did moon, was not the same;
Heroes explore to give us hope;
River pushed back the envelope.

Drank the slab,
Drank the slab,
Drank the slab that Bon Scott**** drunk.

I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk;
I injected some of Hendrix's***** junk;
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's******plane;
Mama Cass's sandwich?******* Ate the same.

Now I'm bored,
Now I'm bored,
Now I'm bored there's no stopping.

Now I'm bored and there's no stopping;
I need another celeb to fill a coffin;
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson********.

I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix.

* River Phoenix - Hollywood actor and the older brother of Joaquin Phoenix. His most famous films are My Own Private Idaho (1991), Explorers (1985) and Stand By Me (1986).
DIED: October 31, 1993 - drug overdose outside the West Hollywood nightclub The Viper Room.

** Sir Edmund Hillary - New Zealand mountaineer. On the 29th of May 1953, Hillary and Nepalese Sherpa mountaineer Tenzing Norgay became the first climbers confirmed to have reached the summit of Mount Everest. Hillary didn't die of a drug overdose.

*** Neil Armstrong - American astronaut,. On the 20th of July 1969, Neil was the first person to walk on the Moon. Neil didn't die of a drug overdose.

**** Bon Scott - Scottish-born Australian singer and songwriter. Lead singer of popular Australian rock and roll band, AC/DC. Most famous songs include Highway To Hell, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, Let There Be Rock and It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll).
DIED: 19 February 1980, Bon passed out in the car after a night of heavy drinking at the Music Machine club in London. Bon passed away due to pulmonary aspiration of vomit (popularly known as "choked on your own vomit") and the official cause of death was listed as "acute alcohol poisoning".

***** Jimi Hendrix - American rock guitarist, singer, and songwriter. Jimi is widely regarded as being "the greatest instrumentalist in the history of rock music". Most famous songs include Hey Joe, Foxy Lady, Voodoo Child (Slight Return), Purple Haze and All Along The Watchtower.
DIED: 18 September, 1970, Jimi was found in a flat in Kensington, London. He was breathing but unconscious and unresponsive. Jimi had like Bon Scott also "choked on his own vomit" and died of asphyxia while intoxicated with barbiturates.

****** Lynyrd Skynyrd - A Southern Rock band from the 1970's. Most famous songs include Freebird and Sweet Home Alabama.
DIED: 20 October, 1977. Lynyrd Skynyrd's tour plane crashed in Mississippi, killing six, including lead singer Ronnie Van Zant, guitarist Steve Gaines and his sister, backup singer Cassie Gaines.

******* Mama Cass Elliot - American singer who was best known as a member of the Mamas & the Papas. Most famous songs include California Dreamin', Monday Monday, Dancing In The Street and Dream A Little Dream Of Me.
DIED: Urban legend is that Mama Cass choked to death on a ham sandwich. In fact a common joke of the day was if Mama Cass gave Karen Carpenter (The Carpenters singer, who died of anorexia nervosa) her last ham sandwich, two singers would be alive today. In reality, Mama Cass died of heart failure, as there was no food found in her windpipe.

******** Michael Jackson - American singer, songwriter, and dancer. Known as the King Of Pop, Michael's career started with the Jackson 5. He went on to have a successful solo career. Most famous songs include Thriller, Billie Jean, Bad and Beat It.
THE PROPHECY OF TISM.
On 6 June 1995, TISM released (He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River but it was 14 years later on June 25, 2009 when Michael would die of combination of drugs in his body, with the most significant drugs being the anaesthetic propofol.

Carbie Warbie's analysis on this song.
Most people misinterpret the meaning of this TISM song. It's not an attack on River Phoenix. If you're a YOB or The Bennies, all you care about is the chorus of being on the drug that killed River Phoenix. It's not a celebration of getting wasted and being like a celebrity that choked on his vomit. When these well loved stars suddenly die, the media frenzy goes into overdrive due to our obsession. I believe the real meaning of this song is that society has become obsessed and follow a long succession of vapid celebrities from Paris Hilton, Fabio, the cast of Friends, Trump or these days the Kardashians and Reality TV stars. So what the song's underlying message is we should be admiring the real achievers of humanity, such as Sir Edmund Hillary and Neil Armstrong.