Black Flag - 1st Avenue, Minneapolis, MN, October 3rd, 1984

10-03-84 MINNEAPOLIS MN: Pulled into Minneapolis about two hours ago. I have slept about one hour. I feel like I’m dead. I took a walk down the street to find coffee. I found a record store and a McDonald’s. I went into the record store to look around. I saw our new album Family Man on the shelf. I went into the used record section. I overheard this couple talking as they went through the records. Man: “This place is great! I found the first Black Flag album for three bucks here last week!” Woman: “Three bucks? I’ll give you mine for free!” I left the record store and headed into McDonald’s. Inside: four lines in front of the counter, mostly male. They looked like they were in line to use the urinal. I was standing behind a woman with a big ass. There was a draft and I caught a breath of what smelled like fresh shit. I thought to myself, “Has this lady shit her pants? Couldn’t she have waited until she got to the counter first?” Through the shit stench and urinal queue, was a woman walking in and out of the lines surveying the customers asking the kind of questions that those kind of people ask. She looked like a medic during wartime or a stewardess on an airplane. I expected oxygen bags to fall out of the ceiling at any time. I checked out her legs. No shit stains. Got my coffee and crawled through the smoke and the bodies to a foxhole in the front. The phone rang. Comfort Woman picked it up. “Hello! Welcome to McDonald’s! Yes! Pretty darn good! Thank you! Have a nice day! Good bye!” I made a run for the door. I looked behind me, the McDonald’s Courtesy Woman was standing on the counter. She was bleeding from the head. She was yelling into a bullhorn, “Maxine we need some more straws! More Quarter Pounders, large fries, splints! Where’s that goddamn plasma! Hit it! Thank you! Pretty darn good! Have a nice day!” I wandered the streets for a time and made it to soundcheck with minor injuries.