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"Hitler's Reply To Mussolini"

Denver Darling and His Texas Cowhands

Decca 6028

February 18, 1942

Dear Muss [Mussolini], the letter you wrote me
is the first laugh I've had in a year.
I read it to my old friend Goering,
and he darn near choked on his beer.

It's hard for me to be writing.
I've still got a very bad cold.
I lost my shirt west of Moscow.
That's quite a big town, so I'm told.

I'll bet I've got Stalin all worried cuz
he don't know what country I'm in.

He's hunting me all over Russia,
and here I am back in Berlin.

The lack of parades must annoy you.
For I know how you love to strut.
And I'm sorry your wardrobe is shabby.
But we've all had to take a big cut.

However, I'm sending some leather.
And with it I give you this toast.
Reinforce the seat of your britches cuz
that's where you'll need it the most.

My promise to give you Great Britain
Is a promise I'll never forget
I've sent Rudolf Hess over for it
But I haven't heard from him yet

I notice that you are complaining
You're getting so many Bronx cheers
Don't blame this on my Gestapo cuz
You've had it coming for years

I recall your brave War Declaration after France
was laid on the shelf. That's when the Bronx
cheers started. I gave you a big one myself.

Then I recall how you boasted you'd give little
Greece a big smack, and there you got caught with
your neck out and you got your big ears pinned back.

P.S.--I'm sorry, old Mussy you didn't turn out
so hot, and you may be sure I'll release you
just as soon as I've grabbed all you got.