Скачать или смотреть How Black Women Can Build Unshakable Confidence | Advice for Black Fathers

“For God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” — John 3:16 (KJV)

CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY.

And that’s exactly where the world attacks Black women — especially dark‑skinned Black women, especially plus‑sized Black women.

While this video was rendering, I kept thinking about how society works: some groups get protected, some get centred, and some get targeted. Black women are targeted. Our confidence is the first thing people try to break, because if you can break a woman’s confidence, you can break her life.

This isn’t about hoping oppressors suddenly change their nature. That’s their issue.
This is about helping my fellow sisters find the safe stream to drink from — the place where your confidence can grow untouched.

Because confidence is survival.

You’ve been conditioned to hate yourself and anything that reminds you of yourself. But you can unlearn it. You can build something new.

I don’t know where you’re watching from, but I’m from London, England — where the Black community makes up about 14% of the city’s population. Across England and Wales, people identifying as Black make up about 4% of the total population (around 2.4 million). (data.london.gov.uk, ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk)

Yet look at the statistics:
• Black women in the UK are almost four times more likely to die during pregnancy or within six weeks after childbirth than White women.
Source: MBRRACE-UK
• 23% of Black women who asked for pain relief in labour did not receive it.
Source: The Guardian
• Black mothers are more than twice as likely to be hospitalised with perinatal mental illness compared to White mothers.
Source: The Guardian

My own story?
When I went to give birth to Hosea at 26, my water broke and the midwife wrote in my maternity book that it was “just discharge.”
As if I didn’t know what was happening with my own body.

And in England, once something is written in the notes, everyone just follows it. Combine that with racism, and you’re ignored before you even open your mouth.

In the end, nobody believed I was in labour no matter how I told them I felt funny. They didn’t even check if I was dilated. The white midwife couldn’t be bothered; she ignored me. It wasn’t until I told her I could feel something unusual in my vagina, and asked her to look, that she started screaming, ran outside, and about 10 people came rushing in. Thirty seconds later, out pops Hosea.

Oh, and later, one of the white midwives reported me to admin, saying she thought I was from Africa and shouldn’t get free healthcare. On my maternity bed, a different African midwife came to tell me that I talk too much.

This is the reality of a Black woman in England.

Ezra’s birth was smoother — no White midwives, just a Chinese midwife and Indian doctors who actually listened.

And when they couldn’t get me medically, the system came for my mental health and took my children.

But I still have confidence.

Even with an abusive mother.
Even with no family support.
Even after childhood trauma.
Even with a father who died from a cocaine overdose when I was 12.
Even after every private wound became a public consequence.

My confidence is rooted in Jesus — but it started long before church. It started with people like my dad who taught me to love myself, so no one’s toxicity could destroy me.

I survive every attack because I genuinely believe I’m beautiful.
I believe I’m intelligent.
I believe I’m funny.
I believe I’m capable.
And most importantly, I believe Jesus loves me.

Confidence gives me strength to fight. And I’m still fighting.

So if you’re a Black father who loves his dark‑skinned daughter — a daughter who looks like me or might grow up looking like me — and you want her to grow up loving herself too…
watch the video and listen to the advice.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” — John 3:16 (KJV)

It says the world — and that includes me. 😘