AITA for letting you know I am divorcing you by sending you a thread on the website that you use to

AITA for letting you know I am divorcing you by sending you a thread on the website that you use to ignore me?

Tiny update: Steffan has seen this post. He is mad that apparently one of you found him based on the rate my boobs thing. He has deleted his account. For any purposes, I want to clarify that I left out any actual incriminating information that could lead to doxxing him.

Any and all people who are pretending to know me or have any incriminating information about me are lying. I am not from South Carolina, I am not moving in with any other guy, and I am also not sleeping around.

----x----

Hi Steffan, maybe you will finally listen.

And if you're wondering if you can just speed home and stop me from doing this and leaving, it’s too late. I’m sending you this after I’ve already loaded everything in the car and left. Don’t worry, I spoke with our landlords and took my name off the lease. I’ve set up a direct deposit for the next month’s rent. After that, you’re on your own, “buddy.”

I guess you’re wondering why. I’m guessing you’ll act like you’re completely blindsided, right? Because you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, and you’re a great husband and father to be, aren’t you?

Well, “buddy,” let me break it down for you in a language you understand:

I (29F) have been married to my husband (35M) for five years, and we’ve been together for nearly ten. On paper, everything seemed fine, but in reality, our marriage has been anything but. I’ve reached my breaking point, and I need to know if I’m the one in the wrong here.

From the beginning, my MIL has been a nightmare. She made everything about her from day one. At our wedding, she wore white, claiming it was a "family tradition" (it wasn't). She constantly criticizes me, from my cooking to my appearance. I’ll never forget the time she called me fat at a family gathering, right in front of everyone. And what did my husband do? Nothing. Not a single word to defend me.

It didn’t stop there. She has "accidentally" destroyed my belongings, including my grandmother's necklace, which she threw out because it "looked like cheap costume jewelry." She’s gone out of her way to make me feel small and unwelcome in my own home. But every time I tried to talk to my husband about it, he’d brush it off, saying I was overreacting or being too emotional.

And then there’s my husband. He’s always on Reddit, constantly giving strangers relationship advice, which is laughable considering how he treats me. He spends more time rating women’s boobs on Reddit than talking to me. Literally. And just so you know, the last pair he rated weren’t a 4 out of 10—they were a 10 out of 10. Yeah, he’s got plenty of time to do that but can’t be bothered to remember anything about my life. He’ll forget my birthday, our anniversary, even simple things like what I’m working on or what’s important to me, but he has a perfect memory for his work schedule and things that matter to him.

When we fight, he becomes incredibly hostile and always throws in a sarcastic “buddy” at the end of his sentences, like I’m some acquaintance he can barely tolerate. And he never cleans. The house, the dishes, laundry—you name it, it’s all on me. It’s like he thinks being an adult is optional, as long as he’s got his job and his Reddit account.

The final straw came a few weeks ago. I’m 5 months pregnant with our first child, a daughter. My MIL started making comments about how she’ll have to “whip the girl into shape” and how she’ll raise her to be “tough” because I’m “too soft.” When I told my husband that I didn’t want his mother to have too much influence on our daughter, especially with the way she treats me, he just laughed it off, saying his mother “means well” and that I was “overthinking it.”

But the moment that truly broke me was when we were talking about future childcare, and my husband suggested that his mother should watch our daughter while we work. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, especially considering how his mother treats me, and he snapped. He called me “paranoid” and said I should “get over it” because his mother was going to be a big part of our daughter’s life whether I liked it or not.

This is the same woman who believes corporal punishment is okay. I’ve seen her hit my husband’s nephew for the smallest things, and no one does anything about it. It’s like they’re all living in some kind of cult, and I’m finally waking up to the reality of what’s going on. If he wouldn’t stand up for me, how could I expect him to stand up for our child? I started to fear for what kind of environment our daughter would grow up in—a place where she might be belittled or bullied by her own grandmother, with a father who wouldn’t do anything to stop it.