Healing From Grief (Facing Loss with Gain, Again and Again)

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📜 FULL SUMMARY

My Journey Through Grief and Loss with Patients

Grief is a complex emotion, a constant companion when someone close to us passes. It's deeper than mourning a death; it's about processing change in everything – jobs, relationships, even our own growth. This journey became especially clear through a patient's story and the one we shared through grief.

Bonds That Go Beyond Treatment

This patient, with me since the beginning of my practice, became more than just a patient. We shared life stages, their struggles with addiction and personal issues. It wasn't just healthcare; it was about empathy, a bond forged over years of interaction.

Loss Shapes My Practice

Loss wasn't just personal, it shaped my practice. It evolved from purely physical treatments to sessions that allowed for emotional release and healing. This transformation was triggered by moments like a patient sharing their grief over their father-in-law, a man who saw them in a unique light. It opened my eyes.

Rethinking What We Lose

We often respond to death with "I'm sorry for your loss," but what do we truly lose? Near-death experiences often describe peace and bliss. Perhaps "loss" is about attachment, not absence. Perhaps it's about what we feel we're missing that cannot be seen by another, but was seen by the person who we've lost.

A Philosophical Shift

My own view on death has changed drastically. On a hike, I ended an insect's suffering. In that moment, I realized there's no death, only transitions. This understanding sees life as a continuous flow – endings are simply new beginnings. Death is simply transitioning from one state to another, but it's not a cessation to the flow of movement that we call life.

Living with Loss, Not Just Coping

Today, facing grief involves acknowledging these transitions without letting them overshadow life's continuity. It's not just about coping with sadness but recognizing the growth and renewal loss can bring. Sitting with the feelings that surface allow for us to follow the flow of transition, listening to where we're in resistance to this change, and allowing for grace as we move with the movement of life.

Embracing Life's Cycles

This journey encourages us to embrace life's cycles – birth, growth, decay, rebirth. By doing so, we can live more deeply connected, not just to others, but to ourselves in all phases. It invites us to see endings as part of our ongoing journey – a perspective that can transform how we experience life and death.