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ADHD, Shame, and The Anti-Planner: A Kinder Way to Get Stuff Done with Dani Donovan

ADHD felt like chaos until we found language for it. In this episode, I ask Dani Donovan how she works with her brain.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “too slow,” or “too behind,” this conversation will feel like a deep breath. I ask Dani how she moved from constant self-blame to practical compassion—and what changed when she stopped forcing systems that never fit. You’ll hear how we name the hard things (hello, anticipatory anxiety), why emotional dysregulation gets overlooked, and the small shifts that make maintenance doable when novelty wears off.

I reveal what I noticed in Dani’s approach that parents, educators, and newly diagnosed adults can use right away—without overhauling their lives. You’ll discover a simple way she makes tasks visual, how she builds permission into productivity, and why “doing it differently” isn’t a failure—it’s the point. There’s more we cover, including friendships, confidence dips, and how to rebuild trust with yourself one tiny win at a time.

Questions you’ll leave with: What’s actually blocking me? How do I reduce shame loops? And what would “working with my brain” look like this week?

About the Guest

Dani Donovan is the creator of ADHD comics and author of The Anti-Planner: How to Get Shit Done When You Don’t Feel Like It. Her self-published book crossed 100,000 copies and grew from her community-favorite visuals that make ADHD feel seen—and solvable.

Timestamps
0:02 – Welcome and why Dani’s story matters right now
0:26 – Before ADHD had language: chaos, confusion, and “stop asking questions”
5:54 – School, “working ahead,” and the cost of fitting the mold
8:11 – Meds as one piece; the relief of being understood
12:40 – Naming it helps: anticipatory anxiety and avoidance
17:49 – Friendship “maintenance,” bullying, and being misunderstood
20:39 – The Anti-Planner, novelty vs. maintenance, and real talk on time
30:17 – What people miss about ADHD: emotions drive procrastination
33:32 – Self-forgiveness, shifting expectations, and trying again
48:10 – A gentle entry exercise you can try with sticky notes
56:16 – For anyone who feels broken
60:08 – Where to find Dani and her work

Links: antiplanner.com • adhdd.com • Instagram: @dani_donovan

If this helped you feel seen, share it with a parent, teacher, or friend who supports neurodivergent folks. Subscribe for more compassionate, practical conversations on ADHD, Autism, and executive function.

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