Mastering The Art of Human Connection: Essential Leadership Tip For Building Stronger Relationships

There are fundamentally two ways to see people.

We can see people as people, or we can see them as objects.

Let me tell you what I mean by this...

One way we can see people is as human beings. This is people as people. This is people who experience joy, that have pain, that suffer loss. They have fear, they love, and yes, even those little quirks that make us unique. People are people who we get frustrated with, we have good days and bad days, just like you and me.

The second way that we can see people is as objects, and this is probably where we need to pause and reflect. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we might start seeing people as objects. And they're likely one of these three types of objects: obstacles, vehicles, or just irrelevant. So let's look at each one of these. First, obstacles. What do we do with an obstacle? Well, we maneuver around them to get what we want, right? This person is just in my way. I've got to get around them, like a chair that's in our way, blocking us from walking towards something that we want. What do we do? We just move the chair, or we step over it, or we step around it as fast as we can to get past this obstacle that's in our way. That's the first way we turn people into objects: potentially an obstacle.

Second is a vehicle. And we use vehicles to get to a destination that we want, and sometimes we use people as vehicles to get what we want as well. "This person is just going to help me get what I want, so I'm going to use them like a car to get to the destination I want to be at." And there's an experience that comes to my mind that I'm not super proud of, but I'm going to share with you to illustrate the point. I remember being at my sixth grade dance, the first thought that comes to my mind here, and I wanted to dance with this one girl, but I was super intimidated. So what I did was, I found somebody that I wasn't intimidated by, and I went and I danced with that girl that I didn't really care about, didn't have feelings for, I didn't have the hots for, didn't have a crush on. But then what I did is, I went as close as I could, and I made sure that she saw me. And as I think back on this, my goal and intention was to be seen by the other girl that I liked, and I wanted her to see me. It's kind of sad to say, but I used the girl as a vehicle to get what I wanted, which was to be noticed by the girl I liked. And so as human beings, we do this type of thing in professional settings as well, all the time, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously, where we use somebody as a vehicle to get what we want.

The third type of object is perhaps the most destructive type that we turn people into objects and do this to each other, which is that they are.... (see video, out of room here)

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