Скачать или смотреть How to Create Shared Meaning - Gottmans 7th Principle for Making Marriage Work

Gottman's 7th and final principle for making marriage work is called creating shared meaning. Creating shared meaning means developing a micro culture within your partnership or family with shared traditions and stories that explain what the relationship is like and what it means to be a part of this group.

Developing a culture does not mean that the couple agree on every aspect of their lives together, rather, they find a way to honor and respect each other's dreams even if they don't share them. When a marriage has this sense of shared meaning, conflict is less intense and perpetual problems are less likely to result in gridlock.

Gottman's 4 pillars of shared meaning are:

1. Rituals of Connection - which are structured events or routines that you both enjoy and depend on and that both reflects and reinforces your sense of togetherness. These rituals include traditions for holidays, dates and dinner time routines.

2. Support for each other's roles - which include spouse, parent, sibling, friend and community member. Supporting each other in their roles adds to a sense of richness and purpose.

3. Shared Goals - which make life more meaningful. When you work together towards common goals, they will make your relationship richer and more meaningful.

4. Shared Values and Symbols - which can be religious or non religious. These can be tangible symbols or stories which make up your family history.

Working towards these shared meanings is what keeps couples connected, leads to intimacy and makes your life together more meaningful.