Palliative Care: The Fear of Falling Asleep | AboutKidsHealth at The Hospital for Sick Children

This video was created in 2011 and we are sharing it in memory of Dr. Christine Newman, one of the pioneers of pediatric palliative care.

In this video, Dr. Newman explains how children who are dying are scared of falling asleep because they think that they won't wake up again. She shares how the palliative care team explains what death will look like to the parents/caregiver and child.

This video is provided for general information only. It does not replace a diagnosis or medical advice from a healthcare professional who has examined your child and understands their unique needs. Please speak with your doctor to check if the content is suitable for your situation.

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TRANSCRIPT

One fear that we've seen very commonly in kids 10 and older is suddenly the fear of going to sleep. And when we've talked to kids about that, it turns out that most kids don't know about dying and death and so they're worried that they're going to have what feels like a normal day to them, go to sleep and never wake up.

So when we discuss that with parents who, by the way maybe having the same fear, if they don't know anything about dying or death if that's not been part of their life experience. We explain what the child's death would look like to the parent and also to the child. But one of the things that we can say to parents is so you know work out a code with your child so every night when they're going to sleep say something to them like 'I'll see you tomorrow'. And make sure, make sure you say that every night. Or say, what I do with kids when they're in the hospital who I know have that fear, the phrase that I use is 'Today's a good day to go to sleep'.

So we give parents different ideas and they'll come up with their own way that means something, you know, that feels sort of right for them and their child but that the corollary of that is that I don't enter into doing that with a child and I advise the parents not to do that, unless they're prepared to stop saying it. Because I can't promise the child that I'll tell him or her when the time is getting close. If the parent says even when I know they're dying I'm going to want to say that. Then that's additional work that we have to do.

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