Of Murder & Catfish: Songify the News #8

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The nation’s leaders discuss the impact of the Patriot Act, murder, and also catfish.
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SOURCES:
Hannity segment regarding equal pay & women in the workplace: http://mediamatters.org/video/2015/05...

Mike Huckabee announcement:    • Mike Huckabee Presidential Announceme...  

John McCain on catfish inspection:    • SENATOR McCAIN ON REPEALING CATFISH I...  

Megyn Kelly / Jeb Bush on Iraq: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2015/...
Rand Paul on the Patriot Act:    • Rand Paul Filibuster on PATRIOT Act E...  

LYRICS
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you said that women are better suited in the home
you would be much happier at home with a husband
go home to a hunk
is he for real ‘cause my brain is hurting
women are pretending that they like working
you know who else pretends that work is fun
every single person since the world’s begun
and dude don’t you know what the truth is
having babies and getting paid aint mutually exclusive, no
women earn less because they choose to
that makes as much sense as a llama in a tutu
did you travel here in a time machine
i hate to tell you what’s gonna happen in 1919

i’m running for president, i’m running for president,
i learned how to handle a gun
and i never thought about murdering someone
murdering someone
well with an argument like that i’m sold
finally a candidate that we can all like
all the others tried to suffocate me last night in my bedroom
Hillary Clinton said “MEET YOUR DOOM”
I learned how to handle a fishing pole
GREAT!
so we could catch catfish, catch catfish
we could catch catfish, catch catfish

the USDA has spent 20 million dollars
to set up the catfish office
without inspecting a single catfish
i’m not making that up oh-ohhhhhh

what if a catfish ain’t really a catfish
it’s just a girl pretending to be a catfish
with a face like that who wouldn’t tap this
you’ll be horrified to find out it’s daniel radcliffe

i wouldn’t be horrified by that, not a single smidgen

on the subject of Iraq,
yup
knowing what we know now
yup
would you have authorized the invasion
yup, I would have
nobody thought Hussein was a great guy
but i thought it was a mistake even at the time

Tom Brady, he’s handsome
but i was asking about Medicaid expansion
Tom Brady, he’s wealthy
your obsession with him is getting a little unhealthy
I think the punishment is too harsh
are we still talking about Brady?
Tom Brady
This is getting too crazy
Tom Brady
I don’t think this interview is worth it
To me those balls are perfect
Tom Brady

the Patriot Act allows the police to write their own warrants
there is no probable cause they don’t have to be signed by a judge
but the police don’t have any flaws
if i’m gonna get arrested might as well break some laws
hey don’t murder anyone in my squad

welp, i guess he’s no Huckabee, and i won’t be voting for him

this catfish here
this catfish here
so we could catch catfish
this catfish here
so we could catch Tom Brady
yup he’s handsome
shouldn’t you be a jets fan
stay home with a husband
i learned how to handle a gun
and i never thought about murdering someone
never even thought about it
I never thought about murdering someone
murdering someone