Скачать или смотреть Auditions

Yeah, two auditions and an update to a third.

Lines:

Palkia's scene:


Mario: So they're in some 2d world... That's not a problem, is it?

Red: Not to my knowl- wait... Olimar... he hasn't been rendered in 2d before, has he?

Mario: ...no...

Red: If he's being rendered in 2d without the proper physical conditioning-

Mario: Oh it can't be that big of a problem.

Palkia: ACTUALLY, YES! IT IS A VERY BIG PROBLEM!

Mario: Whoa!

Red: Jeez!

Ike: ...

PALKIA: TREMBLE BEFORE ME, MORTALS, FOR I AM LORD PALKIA! THE POKEMON GOD OF SPACE ITSELF! SOMEBODY IN THIS WORLD IS GUILTY OF CAUSING A SPACIAL DISTORTION! SPEAK NOW, AND YOUR PUNISHMENT SHALL ONLY BE DEATH BY FIRE!

Mario:

Palkia: WHAT? WHY DOES NOBODY TREMBLE BEFORE MY MIGHT!?

Ike: Well, yeah, the voice is pretty good, but its kinda hard to be afraid of you when youre

Red: when youre in the body of pikachu.

(cuts to reveal that palkia has possessed pikachu)

Palkia: ARCEUS DAMN IT!

Red: So whats this about?

Palkia: ARE YOU ALL DEAF!? AM I NOT SPEAKING SO LOUDLY THAT THE EARTH ITSELF TREMBLES BEFORE ME!? THE ONE CALLED OLIMAR HAS STARTED A CHAIN OF EVENTS THAT WILL LEAD TO THE END OF ALL LIFE IN THIS VIRTUAL WORLD! NOW SPEAK UP AND TELL ME WHERE HE IS!

Rob Scene:

Wario: Bowser, Just how crazy are we talking here?

ROB: (Bursting through the wall) My political opposition is no more! I have boned his wife and daughter, set fire to his naval, and salted his mattress!

Wario: (very blankly and briefly) oh.

ROB: My name is Radcliffe Orpheus Bartholomew the πth! And the wisdom of the Internet has granted me the ultimate enlightenment! I now see and understand all things as they truly are! And it is a never-ending cavalcade of sunshine and flowers and candy and sex!

Bowser: Whoops, there goes my hearts rage sector again.

ROB: Hearts! Brains! Bah! Useless, superfluous decorations! I now know better than to believe in the foolishly foolish foolishness of fools! All intelligence and emotion is stored in a far more obvious place: the earlobes! (Crosses the room) But alas, this revelation is not common knowledge! Even now, the accursed jewelry industry tirelessly strives to drive women down the path to satan with their EARRINGS! The heretics! To pierce ones earlobe is to pierce ones very SOUL! The moment you pierce your ears you become one of the Lobeless! A zombie! A remourseless demon! I have been given a divine directive from 4chan, my lord and savior! KILL THE LOBELESS!

Bowser: Dedede, Wario, grab him.

ROB: (blasting them away with absolute ease) Do not attempt to detain me from my divine quest, you insufferable butt-heads! 4chan has blessed me with power-enhancing hacks beyond your wildest comprehension! OBSERVE!

(rules change to stamina mode)

DDD: Are you insane!? The safeties are off! Youll get people killed!

ROB: That is my intention, good sir! I shall warn you, and only you, now, and only now! All enemies of lobe-ism shall be promptly drawn and quartered!

Wario: What the hell does that even MEAN?

ROB: (getting very close to warios face) Why dont you just look it up? ON THE INTERNET!? Oh wait, I forgot, only I can do that! HAHAHAHAHA! (activates thrusters) The lobeless shall fall come sunrise tomorrow! So promises Lord Radcliffe Orpheus Bartholomew the πth, warrior of 4chan! WAHAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ganondorf monologue:

Wait! Do not be so hasty, boy... I can see this girl's dreams... Oceans... Oceans... Oceans... Oceans... Oceans as far as the eye can see. They are vast seas... None can swim across them... They yield no fish to catch... What did the King of Hyrule say?... That the gods sealed Hyrule away? And they left behind people who would one day awaken Hyrule? How ridiculous... So many pathetic creatures, scattered across a handful of islands, drifting on this sea like fallen leaves on a forgotten pool... What they can possibly hope to achieve? Don't you see? All of you... Your gods destroyed you!