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Sober Stories - Divine Masculine

What is it to be a man? Is it a body? Is it a way of living? Is it a box we have to fit neatly into?

I've thought about this a lot as a man. What does it mean for me to be one, especially when we talk about relationships?

As a man, I think a lot of us are enculturated into this john Wayne form of masculinity. A way of being is that where we have to always be strong for others, and in hetero relationships, we have to always be strong for the woman in our lives.

It's this way of thinking and of being where all of our feelings get shoved down so deep because any chink in our manly armor is just weakness.

From my experience what ends up happening is when we do this when we push everything down so as not to be weak. It inevitably blows up in our faces.

Being strong for others incidentally is a grief and trauma response. Or so I'm told.

Which makes sense if you think about it. We had this bad thing happen to us, and we try and keep it happing to others to our own detriment.

I know plenty of men like this, and I've been like this in part of my life. We try and save others, in a weird way to say ourselves. We try and protect others, in a way to protect ourselves from feeling our feelings. We give and give and give until there is nothing left to give.

I have a friend who just got out of one of these situations. He was in a relationship for years where he tried desperately to save his partner from herself.

When in reality he saw something in her that he was trying to fix to heal an unresolved wound he had from childhood.

My prayer is that men can look at themselves honestly, and understand that true courage lies in battling the great demons that haunt us, not in avoiding them.



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