Nikki Britton is a miracle | Melbourne International Comedy Festival: The Gala

Nikki Britton talks about how she doesn't want kids and as a result, has been told she will never feel real love. #MICF
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MICF is raising the curtain on a stunning line-up of world-class comedians, all for a good cause. The Gala kicks off Festival season with a star-studded line-up of performers showing their support for Oxfam.

Stream now on ABC iview: https://ab.co/MICF
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It's so nice to be here with you beautiful people, because I've had a bloody run-in recently.
I have been told that I'm not a good woman.
I'm not doing womanhood right because I don't have my own kids.
I know that comes as a shock to a lot of you because I look like I've got kids.
That, or I'm a wet nurse. That's fine. They're huge.
You can look at them, not a stitch up.
You can. You've got permission. So, this is oestrogen dominance, though, just to let you know, essentially, I'm swollen with fertility at this point, dangerously fertile.
That's what the doctor said, "dangerously fertile".
I can't walk past any vagrant jizz. I'll go right up. You know?
I can't sit on hotel bedspreads.
I can't swim in spas.
Very limiting.
She'll catch 'em.
She'll fucken get em.
I'm not sure that I want my own kids either.
And when you say that that's often met with, like a lot of anger.
"That is a selfish decision!
"You're a worm waster!
"Do your duty, use your utey."