You mentioned that you have a baby girl that's about 10 weeks old, and she cries a lot when it's time for bed, and you go in and you pick her up, and she keeps crying, and nothing seems to work. Babies cry for a lot of different reasons. It's their way of communicating with us. And sometimes their cries mean that they're in pain, sometimes they're hungry, or they need their diaper changed, sometimes they just have a lot of pent up energy and they need to cry, or their over-stimulated and they just need to get it out. And so if you've changed, fed, and loved your baby, and she's still crying, it's okay to just let her be for a few minutes, and likely, she'll settle down and go to sleep on her own.
If you're noticing that she's fine while in your arms, but she cries when you put her down, it's just because she loves you. That's a compliment to you. But of course, there are times when she needs to sleep, and you need to do things, or you need to sleep too, so it's okay to teach her how to sleep in a crib by herself without your help. She needs to learn how to self-soothe. Now she is 10 weeks - a little too young for sleep-training, but it is okay to just let her be for a few minutes, especially if you're getting a few things done, and you put her down on the ground in a safe place where you can supervise her while you're getting a few things done, she's in your eye's view - if she's crying and doesn't like that you're not holding her, that's okay. Give it a few minutes before you respond to her. And as you do this a few times throughout the day, she'll start to learn that, for one, you come back and get her, and as she gets a little bit older and separation anxiety becomes a real thing for her, it will help her develop trust when she realizes that when yo leave, you come back.
As far as nap time and sleep time goes, try to develop a routine that works well for you and for her that will clue her in to the fact that it's time for sleep. So this could be a rocking session, you could read her a story, you could play lullabies or sing to her. Whatever it is, do this routine for 5 to 15 minutes before putting her down, put her in her crib after changing, loving, feeding her, and if she cries for a few minutes, it's okay. Again, just let her be for about 5 minutes or so, and if she's still crying, go in and check on her, but resist the urge to pick her up. Just gently touch her, make sure she's safe, turn around and walk out of the room. And do this every 5 to 10, 15 minutes. As time goes on, you can slowly increase the amount of time you wait before you go in and check on her. And again, if you're persistent and consistent about it, after about a week or so, she'll learn to sleep in her crib and to go to sleep without help from you.
Another thing to consider is that maybe she's over-tired, and that can cause babies to become fussy. So you can try putting her down a little bit sooner than you usually do. Start your routine, and again, put her down, and see if that helps the problem. Also avoid over-stimulation prior to putting her down, because that might make her upset. If you're finding that none of this is working, she's just really, really fussy - a lot of babies like to be swaddled, they like to be rocked and cradled. When you hold a baby in your arms, what do you instantaneously do? It's like an instinct for us to rock back and forth, and that's because babies like it. They also like noises. So you hear about women turning on vacuum cleaners to get their babies to stop crying - that can help. The sound of a dryer, even just noise makers - there's a lot of apps out there, too, that you can turn on, and I know, I used one of those with my baby, and he'd quiet right down. They like white noise, like nature sounds - you can try that and see if it helps. Of course, a lot of babies like sucking too, so if he takes a pacifier, you can try that.
If you do notice that he seems excessively fussy, then you should call your pediatrician, especially if this is a change from his norm. They can ask you more specific questions and see if further investigation is necessary. If your baby is crying for 3 or more hours on 3 or more days of the week, then colic might be an issue, and again, your pediatrician can help you with this. The good news is, though, it's usually short-lived and disappears by 3 to 4 months of age. Now keep in mind that it's normal for babies to be little bit fussy, and they're usually fussier in the evening hours up to midnight, like 6:00 pm up to midnight. They also like to eat more during this time. And this is really normal for babies that are 1 to 3 months of age, so if you're just noticing this trend, your baby is totally normal. Find what works for your baby, and do those things regularly to try to calm her. And if that means holding her right now, then that's okay - she can't be spoiled too much, and before you know it, she's going to be big, so enjoy these days while they last.
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