What To Do When Your Spouse Files For Divorce

If your spouse files for divorce, you might feel lost and confused, not knowing what to do. You might be devastated, angry, or overwhelmed by emotions.

Maybe you’re even questioning, "Why should I even try to save my marriage?"

Here at Marriage Helper, we know that filing for divorce does not mean it’s the end. We’ve seen thousands of marriages saved even after a divorce is filed. We’ve seen the divorce papers thrown away. Shredded. Destroyed. Even after a divorce was filed, hope was on the horizon.

In this video, we’ll give you 3 specific things to focus on during this time so you won't lose hope. You can envision the possibilities of what can happen for you- how you can save your marriage (and know you are NOT alone in this situation).

First, allow yourself to feel the feelings. To be mad. To cry. Find time and space to grieve. What you're going through is painful! Don’t try to “push through,” acting as if everything is just fine. You are going through a loss. Loss of a dream. Loss of what you had hoped for. It's okay to grieve that right now. But I believe there's still hope.

I want you to hear this: "The more you try and 'push' through, the less you're going to be able to move forward." You need to accept the situation you're in. Not living into a fantasy of false hope or guarantees, but moving forward in strength. Knowing you’ll be okay no matter what. But in order to get there, you need to feel the feelings and accept the current reality.

Second, find an encouraging community. You need to be SUPER picky about this. Find a community of people who support you in your marriage and your decision to stand for your marriage (even during adversity and obstacles). Saving your marriage is a journey- it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You can choose short-term happiness, but that’s not what ultimately leads you to become the best person you can be.

Third, focus on the positives. Know that you do have control of yourself and your choices. Celebrate the fact that you're aware of what you need to change and your willingness to work on it! Become the most attractive you can be physically, intellectually, emotionally & spiritually.

Listen to the podcast, “It Starts With Attraction” for more tips on how you can do this in each area of the PIES!
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Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

Remember to lean into the reasons why you're standing, committed, and in this for the long haul. At Marriage Helper, we can help you define your “why.” We can help you create a statement to keep you grounded & focused on doing what you can to save your marriage.

The Save My Marriage Course teaches you what you can do even if your spouse has filed and even if others have told you to just give up: https://marriagehelper.com/save-my-ma...

The SMART Contact Toolkit teaches you ways to implement positive changes in how you and your spouse communicate: https://marriagehelper.com/smart-cont...

Marriage Coaching: https://marriagehelper.com/coaching/

Marriage Transforming Workshops: https://marriagehelper.com/workshops/

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