WE WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS... | Why We Might Not Be Able to Continue Surrogacy

Nothing could prepare us for this... I knew surrogacy was going to be hard, but what I didn’t know was that it would get this hard this quickly.

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After investing more time and money than we thought possible this early into the process, and simultaneously seeing our hopes rise… we’re left feeling defeated. Michael’s one embryo was found to be “low-level mosaic” meaning that it has a much lower chance of resulting in a successful pregnancy & live birth. Of course we have the option of starting over and doing another round of egg retrieval and fertilization, but at this point we simply do not see that as an option within our means.

I (Matt) have 3 viable embryos. We could just continue forward with our original plan, start the search for a surrogate and do a double embryo transfer. Or, we could try with individual embryos to mitigate risk. If either path results negatively, then not only are we looking at that loss, the grieving, but also the huge financial burden attempting another round of IVF with no insurance coverage & multiple parties looking for compensation.

We feel a great weight on our shoulders to make an impossible decision. There’s no way of knowing. If we choose one, won’t I wonder the possibility of the other? Won’t I still grieve or regret that loss?

We can only imagine the excruciating hurt this process can bring, and we’re left asking ourselves, it is worth the risk? Is it worth the pain if it’s all for naught?