Bridesmaid Speech Interrupted by Foodie Beautys Salah

The bridesmaids wanted a celebration
So we took a trip, bachelorette vacation to Kuwait City
'Cause we know she needs one
A break from Matthew
Just kidding, Matt
We're glad she has you
We're out, the illegal shots are flowing, yeah
Guys wearing Kufis  on the dance floor grooving, yeah
Yeah, we say, "No thanks, she's taken," yeah
Now she's with a hot guy, but he looks gay
Heard his name is Salah
Second location, maybe he's bi
Still dancing with Salah
Third location, fully straight, fully touching Salah
"I can't wait to be his wife
She's pointing to Salah
In the bathroom, we take her aside
She says, "Don't worry, we won't cross the line"
"Think of your fiancé"
She says, "Good reminder"
Hands me her ring
Then we can't find her
At the Marriott, googling Salah
Just to make sure he's not taliban
But he's actually sells perfumes and takes care of an obese woman
Her name is Foodie beauty and she's a weird sick Canadian
In the bathroom, we take her aside
She says, "Don't worry, we won't cross the line"
"Think of your fiancé"
She says, "Good reminder"
Hands me her ring
Then we can't find her
Now we're back in the house, in the hot tub
She's there with Salah
Ask him to leave, get a hotel
She's vibing with Salah
The next day, she said "Nothing happened"
But she smelled like pee and poo
even though she said all she talked about was you, Matthew
Then at brunch, she just starts crying
We ask her "Why?"
She says, "I let him poo and pee on me."
We say, "Take a shower"
She says, "I already took fifty"

Hey Matt, came all this way
Had to explain, direct from Salah
Kelsey's a friend, she's like my sis
but we did hook up
And I poo and peed on her
Because my name is Salah
and I'm Syrian
I'll do the same to you
if you ever take Kuwait City vacation