"They Should Be Cleared, Though!" - Marsh Family parody of Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero"

A bit of fun on a Monday night - quite rough around the edges, because it's first full week back at school/work for us. But it's a song adapted from another Bonnie Tyler and Jim Steinman classic - with a hilarious music video worth checking out. In case it's so rough you don't even recognise it, the original was "Holding Out for a Hero" (soundtrack to the 1984 film Footloose, co-written with Dean Pitchford).

The subject matter is this massive miscarriage of justice that's been in the headlines this week. It actually surfaced ages ago in the UK - involving innocent people operating Post Offices (known as sub-postmasters) being accused and then prosecuted and then convicted of stealing or fraud because a dodgy computer system (titled "Horizon") misrepresented their actions, making it seem as if they had stolen because the digital figures didn't add up. It left lots of broken lives, businesses, and families in its wake - fuelled by private prosecutions brought by the Post Office - and amazingly no one has yet been held to account for the lies, errors, and misdirected actions of either the Post Office management, or the company (Fujitsu). The huge public attention and pressure has surfaced because of a brilliant four-part ITV dramatisation that aired recently, called "Mr Bates vs The Post Office", and now finally some action is being accelerated. You can find details here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politic....

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LYRICS:

There’s a line ‘tween good and wrong
When stealing on the job
It’s all fine for PPE
With fast-track lanes to rob
Isn’t quite the same plight for postmasters you see
Legal fright, their assets burned
And they’re screwed with no appeal

They should be cleared, though!
Cases thrown out for it’s clear no-one committed a crime
Post Office was wrong, and Fujitsu half-arsed
It’s a scandal it’s taken this time
They should be cleared, though!
We’re calling out for convictions to be quashed outright
Each case insecure, they were fraudulent, cruel,
And the software was faulty and lied
Ruining lives

Shouldn’t take a rewrite
In a show on ITV
Scandalous, beyond belief,
There’s no accountability
Really makes you wonder
‘Bout writing to MPs
They’re gonna take some action soon
It’s election year, you see – yeah!

They should be cleared, though!
Nobody doubts all the sorrow that the scandal inspired
The figures were wrong and the lawyers were nasty
Postmasters indebted or fired
They needed heroes
Instead they found themselves fearful, ill and mortified
It’s like poor Postman Pat being abused with his cat
And then stabbed in the back with a knife
They should be cleared, though!
We’re calling out for convictions to be quashed outright

Now there were failures from the powers above
Outsourcing private entities
Didn’t care there was something quite amiss, you see
Prosecuting again and again
Dragging names through the mud
Never telling the truth that “Horizon”’s a dud
(That Horizon’s a dud, that Horizon’s a dud
That Horizon’s a dud, that Horizon’s a dud, dud)

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