Why Pick up Artists Always Lose In The End

Most aspiring pick up artists never succeed in becoming much good at it, so they fail and give up, which is not a bad thing. Hopefully, they’ll commit to psychotherapy with a good therapist.
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But the minority who succeed also fail. They start with toxic shame of their “original” nature—of the shy, awkward, or anxious parts of them. And they work hard to transform themselves into their “ideal selves”—the charismatic, charming, seductive selves they desperately want to be. As soon as they’ve made that “pact with the devil,” they guarantee their loss.
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How does the aspiring pick up artist know he’s making progress at exiling his old self and becoming his “ideal self”? It’s by whether he’s getting the approval, compliance, and investment from the attractive woman (or women).
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But the attractive women they would be most naturally attracted to and the women who would be most naturally drawn to them... would have the matching neurotic pattern.
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The aspiring pick up artist compensates by emulating narcissistic behavior and thought patterns. If he’s successful, he becomes a compensatory narcissist, who will never find peace of mind or experience unconditional love (until he starts healing).
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The better he gets at pick up, the more likely he will attract an emotional vampire who is not compensating, but who is a pure predator. While the compensatory predator still aims for love and connection, the predatory partner feeds directly on the attention, adoration, and validation. So while the compensatory narcissist uses these as a means to an end (love and connection from her), the pure predator already gets what she wants while withholding what he really wants (the love and connection from her). Sadly, this predator-victim pairing is natural and common.
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This preview clip is from the talk: "Modern Mating Explained 1: Growth & Maturity for Reformed Players & PUAs (Pick Up Artists)"

Link to full video with show notes and transcription: https://www.davidtianphd.com/dating/m...

For the full video on YouTube:    • Modern Mating Explained 1: Growth & M...  

For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has helped hundreds of thousands of people from over 87 countries find happiness, success, and fulfilment in their social, professional, and love lives. His presentations - whether keynotes, seminars, or workshops - leave clients with insights into their behaviour, psychology, and keys to their empowerment. His training methodologies are the result of over a decade of coaching and education of thousands of students around the world.

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