Mom Upset As Deaf Daughter Holds Wedding In Sign Language

Planning, and executing, a wedding is hard enough. There are people who would always be giving advice on how it should be done and what should be done. Many times their requests, preferences, and opinions are given without anybody asking for it. "Am I The A--hole" (known as AITA) is a subreddit on the social media site Reddit. In it, people describe scenarios — often involving a romantic partner, often shocking — and ask others online to judge whether they were an "a--hole" for reacting as they did. In this group a story popped up some time ago about a deaf bride who was organizing a wedding for mostly Deaf guests and hence decided to hold the ceremony in Sign Language. However, her hearing mother was not happy about this.

So, the Deaf bride is 24-years-old. From childhood, she got bilateral cochlear implants and was forced to attend hearing school, never being taught sign language, nor being introduced or immersed into deaf culture. Her parents too never learned sign language. Despite her parents not wanting her to embrace her Deafness, she still ended up learning ASL and got accepted into a deaf university, allowing her to feel more in her element. She even met her now husband there. And it turned out he’s from a very large extended family of deaf people, CODA (Child of Deaf Adults), SODA (Sibling of Deaf Adult) and everyone in the family used sign language. The Deaf woman turned to the AITA on Reddit, asking if she was wrong to plan her own wedding in sign language, despite her mom’s protests.

Since many of the guests were deaf, and it was more comfortable for her being without a hearing aid, it was decided to have the ceremony be held in sign language. Interpretation in English was to be provided for the minority “signing impaired” as the invitation jokingly stated. Even the pastor agreed to do the ceremony in sign language.

But, as soon as her mother got the invite, she started furiously texting her, attempting to convince her to switch to English and have ASL be the language that’s interpreted. She said that this is America and so the primary language should be English, and also everyone who “doesn’t choose to ‘get cured’ (get an implant)” should be the ones getting the translation. The mother was offended by the word ‘signing impaired’. Throughout the conversation, the mom kept on saying that she should have never let the daughter go to that school. Considering everything, people have replied that she was not wrong to do what she did. While some pointed out that it’s her wedding, the mom should have already learned sign language by now, and this is besides how poorly the mom treated her daughter. The post got quite a bit of attention. After garnering over 21,300 upvotes and getting a lot of love from the Reddit community with over 3,000 comments, the community decided that OP isn’t the a-hole, but her mom is.

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