Day One of a New Placement

It's #FosterCareMonth Day 20, and today I'm responding to another viewer question. She asked me to share a bit about how to make the first day of a new placement go as smoothly as possible. I'm sure there are many ways to answer this question, but in this video I'm sharing three suggestions.

First, be as present as possible! Take the day off if you work outside the home and ask your spouse/partner to take the day off, too. Devote that day to the child(ren) coming into your care. Leave the chores and email for another day. Give them your full attention, and let them get to know you a bit. You're strangers!

Second, give them a tour of your house. Show them what's in cupboards and closets. Your house is a strange place. Remove as much of the mystery as possible. Also, let them know where they're allowed to roam and which rooms require permission to explore.

Third, communicate "house rules" or expectations of everyone living in the house. This should not be a long list of dos and don'ts, but rather a simple understanding of what's expected that you can refer to whenever there are questions/behaviors/infractions. Be prepared, though, for the kids to point YOU to the list if you get out of line :)

PS -- if you have children in your care who have been sexually molested, let them know that their room is their safe place, and they may ask you not to come in while they are in there. Obviously you have to go in to clean, change sheets, check for food that might be hidden under the bed (if kids have gone hungry in the past, it is not uncommon for them to hoard food). But while they are in there, and especially while they are sleeping, only go in their room if they give you permission. They need to know they are safe here!

I hope this list helps. If you have other tips, please share them below. Let's help each other do a better job of making Day One go as smoothly as possible!