6 Ways To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse

http://www.BreakupBrad.com -- 6 Ways To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse

What’s up YouTube, Brad Browning here… and today, I’m going to give you 6 tips for safer, more effective arguments with your spouse.

Now, as any married person will tell you, occasional arguments with your partner are inevitable. In fact, research has even shown that arguing with your spouse can be a good thing for your marriage. I know that sounds bizarre, but it’s true.

The problem is, though… many couples don’t have healthy arguments. Instead, they have arguments that lead to resentment, frustration, and overall damage to the marriage. If your marriage is on the rocks right now, then maybe you know the kind of fights I’m talking about: the ones that you know, deep down, are slowly eroding the connection you have with your spouse.

So if you’re in that boat -- if you want future disagreements with your spouse to actually be productive and healthy, rather than damaging to your marriage -- keep watching.

TIp #1: Stop using exaggerated language

This is one of the most important tips I can offer to any married couple that struggles with frequent conflicts. Exaggerated language includes saying things like,

“You’re ALWAYS late! Why can’t you just show up on time for once?”
or
“Every time I walk into the kitchen there’s a pile of your dirty dishes in the sink!”
or
“Why do you always say rude things around my family?!”

Do you see the problem with these statements? Simply put, they’re all FALSE and EXAGGERATED. Has your spouse really NEVER shown up on time? Is it true that your spouse hasn’t ever washed dishes? Not likely.

There’s two problems with this kind of statement. To begin with, all your spouse would have to do is come up with one example of him or her cleaning up after themselves to prove you wrong. From your spouse’s perspective, what you said is blatant hyperbole, and clearly not a true reflection of reality… and as a result, your spouse will think that you’re being untruthful and condescending.

Secondly, this kind of statement is too confrontational to have a positive impact on your spouse’s behaviour. They’re simply going to latch on to the exaggerated nature of your statement, and ignore the underlying issue that you’re trying to address.

The solution is simple: use more precise, realistic language when you’re bringing up concerns with your partner. Instead of saying, “you’re always late!”, you could say “Can you please try to be on time when we meet with our friends? I’d appreciate it if you could make more of an effort not to be late.”

Now, I know you might be somewhat skeptical here, and that’s fair. By itself, this isn’t going to fix your marriage and make all your arguments productive… but you’d be very surprised at how much of a positive impact using this kind of “precise language” can make to your disagreements. Try it and see for yourself how much more receptive your spouse will be when you frame things in a more realistic and precise way.


*** More from Brad Browning:
The Ex Factor Guide: http://www.exfactorguide.com
Mend the Marriage: http://www.mendthemarriage.com
Brad Browning: http://www.bradbrowning.com/
LoveLearnings: https://www.lovelearnings.com
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