How To Make An Avoidant Fall In Love With You Again

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Are you worried your avoidant partner has fallen out of love? This video by Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, dives deep into why avoidantly attached people experience a "loss of love" and how to rebuild a stronger connection.

Here's a breakdown of the video:

The Problem Isn't Lack of Love: Avoidant partners don't fall out of love, they experience a burnout of dopamine. Their brain chemistry seeks dopamine from external sources like achievements and "fun" activities. This creates a cycle where they constantly need more to feel the same level of "love".
You're Not to Blame: Many women blame themselves and try to "spice things up" with more excitement (sex, lingerie, etc.). This approach backfires, leaving both partners feeling worse.
The Solution: Partner for Growth: The key is to help your partner grow, succeed, and feel peaceful. This involves:
Boosting their productivity and sense of accomplishment.
Enhancing their feeling of peace and relaxation.
Bonding with them in a new way through oxytocin and vasopressin.
Understanding the Nervous System:

Avoidant Attachment and the Sympathetic Nervous System: Avoidant people live in a constant state of "fight or flight" due to childhood experiences. This shuts down their oxytocin receptors, preventing bonding.
The Parasympathetic Nervous System and Feeling Safe: This "rest and digest" state is crucial for bonding. Many avoidant people have never experienced it.
How Women Can Help:

Focus on Self-Regulation: Manage your own emotions and communicate them calmly.
Become His Partner in Success: Help him achieve goals and reduce stress. Don't ask "what can I do for you?" but rather "how can I enhance your success?"
Bonding in and Out of the Bedroom: Learn how to set goals together for intimacy that encourages oxytocin and vasopressin bonding.
Benefits for Both:

Reduced Stress and Increased Productivity: Your partner will feel calmer and achieve more.
Deeper, More Fulfilling Love: This new approach establishes a stronger bond based on mutual support and growth.
A Sustainable Relationship: You create a lasting partnership built on understanding and emotional connection.

This video offers a unique perspective on avoidant attachment and provides actionable steps to build a more fulfilling relationship. Watch it to learn how to create a love that goes beyond dopamine and lasts a lifetime.


If you enjoyed this video then I would recommend you give this video on avoidant attachment a watch:    • Can You Fix An Avoidant Man?  

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If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.

Slaying Your Fear - A Book For People Who Grapple With Insecurity
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Chapters:
00:00:00 Understanding Your Avoidant Partner's Loss of Love
00:02:01 Understanding Dopamine and Love in Avoidant Attachment Styles
00:04:26 Understanding Avoidant Attachment and Stress Resistance
00:06:27 Reigniting Love Without Dopamine Fixes
00:08:58 Understanding the Parasympathetic Nervous System and Relationship Dynamics
00:11:06 Understanding the Parasympathetic Nervous System in Relationships
00:13:13 The Power of Oxytocin in Relationships
00:15:06 Enhancing Bonding and Relaxation in the Bedroom
00:17:01 Enhancing Male Productivity with Feminine Energy
00:19:13 Understanding Male Vasopressin Bonding
00:21:11 Understanding Oxytocin and Emotional Bonding
00:23:16 How to Earn and Maintain His Trust
00:25:19 Creating Deep Connections in Relationships