Townes Van Zandt - Live at the Jester Lounge - 07 - Talkin' Karate Blues

2004 - by NORMAL Records
recorded 1966

Lyrics:
Well, I ain't very big for twentyone
And it seems I never could have any good clean fun
Cause every time I'd go outside some great big bully'd come along
He'd hit me in the face and he'd knock me to the ground
And he'd start kickin' me all around
And that ain't fair, friends, that's wrong.


So I got me a paper the other night
And I crawled up on the sofa underneath the light
And flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads.
Said, "take karate from lee hung chow;
Man, make your first appointment now
This course is guaranteed to make you bad."


Well, the next day I drove to the address
By japanese design I was really impressed
It looked like a regular house of the rising sun.
I walked inside, I was all alone
I was feeeling kind of nervous down in my bones
I was kind of sorry I'd ever even come.


Then a giant jap walked through the door
He must have been about nine feet four
And he looked like he's prone to easy aggrevation.
He said, "lee hung chow, ah kee dung"
That's japanese for fee fie foo fum
I tried to explain my entire situation.


He said, "number one course, yankee, self defence,
Twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents";
I said "what's the twentyfive cents for? " and he said, "repairs."
I said, "repairs to what? ", and he said "to you"
And I thought to myself "man, that´s 'll never do"
Felt about a half inch tall under that ol' slender stare


Ah, you think he was yellow...


I said, "i believe I go check another place"
He said, "ha so, yankee don't like my race"
I said, "now, there's a mistake, man, and that's true;
You japanese just can't do no wrong
I've been for you you japanese all along
And I thought you got mighty dirty deal in world war ii."
well, he didn´t belive me

Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave
I figured there's a pretty good time to leave
Before he had a chance to do me any definite harm.
But my plan worked out in the end, you see,
Now no bully is gonna pick on me
Who's gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?