turtles all the way down - sammy copley (original song)

in part inspired by the john green book of the same name that touched my SOUL and put in to words some of my worst fears and anxieties in a way that made me feel a whole lot less alone, i highly recommend you read it regardless of whether or not you personally relate to it bc it's a wonderful insight into the brain of someone who does

probably my longest and most upsetting song lmao nice also two vids in one week? who do i think i am smh

for any of u friends listening who relate to either the book or the song or just to mental health struggles in general, i'm here for u and proud of u for keeping on for as long as you have bc being trapped in your own head with something so hard to articulate is quite the battle; please talk to someone if you can, you deserve help and support

this is all very dramatic lmao i'm acc doing okay i just rlly felt the need to share some form of appreciation for this book and it seems all i know how to do is write angsty songs on out-of-tune instruments😎💓

- sam x

(also sidenote, the "unkindest cut of all" line is a reference to the play "julius caesar" bc i like pretending i'm cultured)

LYRICS:
i'm not well
as you can tell
by the way i haven't looked you in the eye
and i'm about to lie

and say i'm fine
but inside, you and i know that's not true
but it's either this or let my burdens weigh on you
and that i just can't do

so i'll choose for the both of us
and you'll just go along because
you've trusted me for no good reason
here i am committing treason

i'll force the last page of our story
one more boring allegory
i hope to god you'll rise above me
i always bite the hand that loves me
and mine is the "unkindest cut of all"
i'll watch you fall

and i'm aware
that it's not fair
to bring you here, then send you on your way
you had so much to say

and to ask
like "why am i not cut out for the task
of loving you forever, of holding you and never wanting less?"
i can take a guess;

see, i could choose for the both of us
and you'd just go along because
you're trusting me for no good reason
you love no matter what the season

and i'd force the ending of our story
you're my favourite allegory
then hope to god that you'll forgive me
my mistakes will long outlive me
and mine is the "unkindest cut of all"
i'll watch us fall

and i don't know if this makes it any easier
perhaps you'll find some comfort when i say
you and i are nothing more than meteors
never meant to live long past today

so i'll choose for the both of us
and you'll just go along because
you've trusted me against your judgement
you deserve someone who doesn't

force the last page of your story
no more boring allegories
hope to god you'll rise above me
though you'll always be part of me
mine is the "unkindest cut of all"
i'll watch you fall
now watch me fall

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