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What Really Happens Behind TV Sex Scenes? 🔥 How Are Sex Scenes Actually Filmed? Intimacy Coordinator Ita O'Brien Spills All 👀💋

You’ve definitely felt her work (don’t be weird) — from the steamy sheets of Normal People to the awkward, glorious chaos of Sex Education, Ita O’Brien is the powerhouse behind today’s most iconic on-screen sex scenes. She’s not in them (calm down), but as an intimacy coordinator, she’s the genius choreographing all that chemistry.

In this video, our Sex & Relationships Editor Brit Dawson gets intimately (wink) into it with O’Brien — talking about her new book INTIMACY, her behind-the-scenes magic, and how sex scenes went from “just wing it” to “wow, this feels real.” Think less “just kiss and hope for the best,” and more “empathy, choreography, and a dash of pelvic diplomacy.”

💥 Topics we get into:

How actors really film sex scenes (yes, there are modesty pouches)
Why intimacy coordination is changing Hollywood for the better.

The spicy backstories behind shows like I May Destroy You & It’s A Sin
And… how you can use these same tools in your own love life 👀

If you've ever screamed "chemistry!" at your screen — you’ve got Ita O'Brien to thank. Hit play for hot takes, behind-the-scenes secrets, and a new appreciation for coordinated consensual canoodling.

0:00 – The Reality of Filming Sex Scenes (Yes, Including Farts)
0:30 – Introducing Ita O’Brien and the Role of Intimacy Coordinator
0:43 – Normal People: Breaking Down Marianne & Connell’s First Time
1:26 – Teaching Intimacy Without Touching Genitalia
2:07 – I May Destroy You: Period Sex, Blood Clots, and Realism
3:50 – The Emotional Power of Arabella’s Scene
4:40 – Male Gaze, Cinematographers & Why Representation Matters
5:33 – Sex Education: From Fight Choreography to Intimacy
6:58 – First Workshop on Set: How Ita Changed the Industry
8:03 – Spit Scenes: The Creative Workaround That Worked
9:40 – Actor Consent: “Your Yes Is Your Yes. Your No Is Your No.”
10:51 – Modesty Garments Explained (What’s Actually Worn On Set)
12:00 – Penis Covers, Lambswool Cushions & Intimate Technique
13:40 – The Wildest Object Ita Ever Had to Choreograph Around
14:26 – How Married Actors Handle On-Screen Intimacy
15:53 – Why It’s Not Sexy to Film a Sex Scene (But Sometimes You Get Aroused)
17:00 – Real-Life Embarrassing Moments (Paul & Daisy's Sticky Scene)
17:56 – What Actually Counts as an “Intimate Scene”?
18:53 – Sex Education Masturbation Montage: Why It Mattered
20:00 – Using Animal Rhythms to Guide Character Performance
21:00 – Into-Me-See: Connecting with Your Own Desire
22:25 – Are Sex Scenes Dead? Why Ita Says “Write Them Better”
23:30 – Final Thoughts: What Intimacy Coordination Adds to Storytelling
24:15 – Outro: Learn More in Ita O’Brien’s Book


Read the full feature here: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-...


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#SexScenes #IntimacyCoordinator #NormalPeople #SexEducation #ItaOBrien #BehindTheScenes #INTIMACYBook #BritDawson #TVSecrets #RelationshipAdvice #ConsentMatters #HowSexScenesAreMade💬

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