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Chapter 2 – The NHS: Where Hope Goes to Die in a Corridor That Smells of Piss and Misery | Big Bastard Bob’s Britain

February 2025: I wake up at 3 a.m. with an elephant river-dancin’ on me chest. Ring 999 → “Your estimated wait for an ambulance is four hours and twenty minutes. Please do not die while holding.”
Daughter drives me to A&E (she’s an agency nurse – NHS won’t give her a proper job). Car park £14 to start, £48 by the time they decide I’m not dyin’ today.

Inside: trolleys queued up like Aldi on pension day, 94-year-old Doris waitin’ 42 hours for a bed and still askin’ for her mam, lad with half a finger in a defrosted Greggs bag, and a doctor who looks twelve runnin’ on Red Bull and broken dreams.

Ten hours, one Tesco-value aspirin, and an arse-out gown later, they send me home with a letter sayin’ “chest pain ?cause” and a bill for the privilege.
This is the NHS in 2025: more managers than morphine, more diversity officers than defibrillators, and a private ambulance toutin’ outside for £295 a pop.

World-beatin’, my arse.
Still breathin’. Just.

🔥 Chapter 3 droppin’ soon: “Benefits Street – Where Sanctioning a Bloke With No Legs Counts as Efficiency Savings”

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Music: Blah Blah Blah by Ost & Skinkpaj