Скачать или смотреть Most people think their dating patterns mean they’re “bad at relationships.” They’re not

Most people think their dating patterns mean they’re “bad at relationships.” They’re not. They’re nervous-system patterns. Some people regulate through stimulation — intensity, debate, sex, constant engagement. That’s usually a fight/flight response and often overlaps with anxious or avoidant attachment. Some regulate through safety — calm tone, predictability, emotional ease. That’s a regulated social engagement state and often aligns with secure or earned secure attachment. Some regulate through chaos — on/off relationships, emotional highs and lows, adrenaline. That’s trauma bonding, driven by fight/flight cycling, and closely linked to disorganized attachment. Some regulate through shutdown — withdrawal, numbness, disappearing during conflict. That’s freeze or collapse, often connected to avoidant attachment. Some regulate through closeness and reassurance — overprocessing, fear when there’s distance. That’s the fawn response, commonly associated with anxious attachment. None of these are personality flaws. They are survival strategies your body learned. And here’s the truth most dating advice skips: You cannot out-communicate a nervous system mismatch. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to be calmer, tougher, or less needy. It’s about understanding your default response — and slowly building the capacity to become more regulated, flexible, and secure. Compatibility starts in the nervous system — not the dating app. #datingadvice #nervoussystemhealing #attachmentstyle #datinglife #healingjourney