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complete transcript: Secure attachment explained: The key to healthy bonds

The Holistic Psychologist: here's what someone who is securely attached wants you to know. Growing up my parents were able to put aside their own issues and emotions, to focus on my emotional needs, not all the time but a majority of the time.

One parent didn't control the emotional tone of the home, so I don't ask if you're upset or okay all the time. When you're inconsistent I pull away. And I don't try to compete for your love. Actually seeing inconsistency is something that won't be healthy for me long term.

I don't overanalyze everything you do. I've learned that healthy adults express what they need. If you expect me to read your mind, I know this is not a relationship for me to invest in. I'm not interested in fixing or caretaking you. I choose friends and partners based on who they are, not who I wish them to be. I expect that you can take care of yourself. I don't take everything personally. And I know not everything is about me, including your mood and I give you space when you need it. And I encourage you to do things that make you the best version of yourself.