My Gruss House - Gruss Purim Shpiel 5784/2024

Written, performed, and directed by Yitzchok Shmidman
With help from the Gruss Chevra, Shraga Guys, and the Single Buchrim

Lyrics:
(Purim 5784)
(Gruss Shpiel you ready for this)

Banging on the front door to get let in
Snake path and jackal invasion
the constant sounds of construction
And the apartment steps feel like a mountain

Welcome to BVG (Bayit V’gan baby)
40 Duvdevani
Separate bus stop seats (so it’s not a meet and greet)
Knisas 1, 2, 3

This is my Gruss house
WiFi doesn’t work now
Why’s the bed so low down
How do I get the mold out

This is my Gruss House
The Shraga guys are too loud
Pull the trisim way down
Need a two bedroom somehow

It’s my laundry turn now
So come get your clothes out

I can hear every sound in the stairway (no conversation privacy)
One closet for two isn’t enough space
Keep our clothes on the floor near the peeling paint
The bedroom is just the bathroom hallway

Open up the front gate
No stove top in place
There’s no freezer space
Rats up in this Beis

This is my Gruss house
WiFi doesn’t work now
Why’s the bed so low down?
How do I get the mold out?

This is my Gruss House
The Shraga guys are too loud
Pull the trisim way down
Need a two bedroom somehow

It’s more comfy on the couch
This is my Gruss house

Welcome to my Gruss House, I share a dud, dude that’s wack
Do I hear my neighbors baby or is it a cat?
I put in so many dormi’s I lost track
And when I take a shower, fire alarms blast
Rise up, blow up, car wash, ad
When I need a bus the 21 is all I have
A blurry Kotel picture from the eighty’s they attached
This Kollel where it’s at


This is my Gruss house
WiFi doesn’t work now
Why’s the bed so low down?
How do I get the mold out?

This is YU’s house
Only YUI Israel crowd
This is the North Campus now
And this is will be the south

Is Shraga’s moving out?
Coed campus is shut down!
This is my Gruss house
Gruss house

Credit goes to Flo Ride for the original song, and Bass N Instrumental and Sing King Karaoke for the Karaoke track