Livin' and Dyin'

Music Video of Desiree Anzalone (grand daughter of Desi Arnaz Jr. and great-grand daughter of Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball) who performed and wrote the music. All footage was recorded in 2007 in Ashland, Oregon. The party features our circle of artisan friends (Rio, Flip, Richard, Julia, Adithya, Blake, Dez and me) and that summer was a big highlight in my life. This was the first video I ever made of anything, so there were a few mistakes. The music was recorded in the same house as the party, but our mic setup didn't work which is why we had the bad sound quality. The flames from the fire caused the camera to go in and out of focus because I left it on automatic focus. The scenes from the party, on the other hand, were unintentionally filmed with a shutter speed of about 1/8 of a second, causing a slow motion stutter affect.

Desiree Anzalone passed away on September 27th, 2020 after a six year battle with breast cancer. She was thirty-one years old. Her friends and family loved her dearly, and I feel privileged to have known her for the brief time I did.

Lyrics to Livin' And Dyin' by Desiree Anzalone

What's the use of even living,
If you just think of dying.
What's the use of even trying,
Trying for you.

What's the use of even crying,
When I just know you're lying.
What's the use of even living,
Living to die.

When I give my heart to you,
I give it freely.
When I give my soul to you,
I give it wholly.

It's just a wish I had,
A simple dream.
But it's all I ever wanted,
So it seems.

When did the sky fall down on you,
And what, what did it say to you.
When you tried to climb that sky,
You fell right down like a bullet's eye.
You tried so hard just to fly your wings.

And I know what's it's like to fall right down,
And I know what it's like to head towards the ground.
And I know what it's like to fall right down.
And I know, you fall right down.
You fall right down.

When did the sky fall down on you?
And what, what did it say to you?
When you tried to climb that sky,
You fell right down like a bullet's eye.
You tried so hard just to fly away.

And I know what it's like to fall right down.
And I know what it's like to head towards the ground.
And I know what it's like to fall right down.
And I know, you fall right down.
You fall right down.
You fall right down.