i love to hate that i want you

this is a song i wrote about a week or so ago. basically, i met someone and the instant i met them i had a feeling i liked them, but out of not wanting to lose them (and also knowing that there were very high odds they didn't feel the same way) i told myself i didn't like them. months went by and we became decent friends. nothing too crazy but we had our fair share of good times and laughs. eventually i moved away from them, and in the time after i realized that i actually did really like them. i realized how often i thought about them, how i felt just knowing they were even in the same place as me, etc. since then she has been in my dreams non stop and just kind of taking up space in my head. the catalyst for me writing this song was a dream i had about her recently. i saw her in a store and she was happy to see me and gave me a hug. for some reason that hug stuck with me. it kept replaying in my head even after i woke up. and even when i was awake i could still feel it. i couldn't stop thinking about it and so i wrote this.

the text in the square on the right says:
"i love to hate that i want you because it gives me a reason to still think about you. i disguise it as thinking about why and how i should get over you, but in reality i just want any excuse to think about you."

hope you enjoy :)

Lyrics:

Can’t breathe
Suffocating in your collar bone
I could die here
And never have any second thoughts

Falling asleep
Who needs rain when I have your heartbeat?
Laying on you
Can’t say I’ve ever been more comfortable

But it’s all kept upstairs along with all the words I wish we’d shared
Only knew it after I knew you
Didn’t think you were mine to lose
I finally let my guard down
I think I see why I had to put it up now
Somehow you snuck through unseen
Boy you really did a number on me

You will forever haunt my dreams
I’m reminded by all the little things
I think of you everyday
You seem to be here to
Stay away I’ll only get hurt
I’ll always remember the way
Your smile looks it’s burned in my brain
Your laugh helps me get through the
Days feel colder without you around
I’ve already broken down
It’s only been a month or two
I love to hate that I want you

What more is there to say than what’s been said
Don’t know if I’ll ever get you out of my head
I’m okay with only seeing you when I’m asleep
I feel less alone when I imagine you’re with me

You will forever haunt my dreams
I’m reminded by all the little things
I think of you everyday
You seem to be here to
Stay away I’ll only get hurt
I’ll always remember the way
Your smile looks it’s burned in my brain
Your laugh helps me get through the
Days feel colder without you around
I’ve already broken down
It’s only been a month or two
I love to hate that I want you