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Carers of loved ones with eating disorders often say that they feel totally alone. The eating disorder takes up all their time and energy and they can quickly become more and more withdrawn. Identifying close others within your friends and family network who are compassionate, can listen non judgementally, and who don't tell you what to do, can really help to give you some much needed respite. In the first vignette Alice's friend doesn't quite get this balance right. In the second she listens carefully, shows great compassion and uses motivational language to help Alice to start to see things more clearly and to visualise a brighter future ahead.