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First Friday Night Live is a sketch comedy show that is filmed and broadcasted in front of a LIVE audience.

WOMAN: But there were no cars coming! Other people were crossing. Why are you singling me out? Why are you harassing me for jaywalking when everyone does it?

PIG: Oink

WOMAN: Please just let me go! I've got children at home.

PIG: Oink.

ILLE-GAL # 1: Take that you villainous pig!

ILLE-GAL # 2: Picking on a defenseless woman? You disgust me.

WOMAN: Thank you girls so much! From the bottom of a mother's heart, thank you!

ILLE-GAL # 3: Absolutely de nada! Remember, whenever those pigs act up, we'll be there to help the people of Phoencia.

WOMAN: Considering how wild things have gotten, you three have taken on quite the job. Who are you?!

ILLE-GAL # 1: We're super-heroines AND we're in a totally kick-ass rock band!

WOMAN: What's the name of your band?

ILLE-GAL # 2:
Well, we haven't quite decided on that.

WOMAN: What?! That's not very good marketing. Who's your promoter?!

TRANNY: I just want to go dancing across the street at the Bikini Lounge! Your drawing a gun on me is completely unnecessary.

PIG: Oink.

ILLE-GAL # 3: Hold it right there, you trigger happy turd!

TRANNY: Wow. Wow! Oh my gatos! Thank you! Wow, I've heard of you muchachas. There are whispers of a justice team in Downtown Phoenix!

ILLE-GAL # 2: Well, those whispers are going to become louder because we've settled on a name-

ILLE-GAL # 3: We're the Ille-Gals!

ILLE-GAL # 1: Be sure to visit our Myspace page!

REPORTER # 1: We have received numerous reports of girls dressed in, what were believed to be Quincinera gowns, wielding musical instruments, beating the Pigs in the streets! I can only deduce that this must be them! Is this some sort of early Halloween prank gone horribly wrong? Why have you done this to our Protector Pigs??

ILLE-GAL #1: And if you please! Just who do the Protector Pigs protect? They've completely taken over our city! Head Authority Gordon has been corrupted-

REPORTER # 2: Where did you get your fabulous outfits?!

ILLE-GAL # 2: We make our own costumes. Check out other handmade clothes inside the Firehouse!

REPORTER # 2: Very impressive. So what's your group called?

ILLE-GAL # 3: We're the Ille-Gals!

REPORTER # 1: Well, you heard it live folks. A terrorist group calling itself the Illegals has rebelled against our Protector Pigs-

ILLE-GAL # 3: That's pronounced Ille-Gals.

REPORTER # 1: Fine. Ille-Gals. The terrorist Ille-Gals have completely-

Ille-Gal # 2: We're not terrorists. We're freedom fighters! The real terrorists are those that scapegoat and pick on the weak in our community-

REPORTER # 2: Whoa, whoa now! I don't what your regular place of work is like, but we try to keep this news show somewhat light-hearted on Fridays. So, can you tell us more about why you have musical instruments?

ILLE-GAL # 3: We're a rock group.

REPORTER # 1: Oh really? When do you play next?

ILLE-GAL # 1: Alright Gals! We've got a call about a serious problem at a Julioberto's way out on the West Side- and I'm not talking about the lard in the beans. Let's move!

REPORTER # 1: Wait! Wait! Illegals! Illegals come back!

REPORTER # 2: Ha! I never thought I'd hear you say THAT Ron!

REPORTER # 1: Well, I may be confused about their politics, and totally disagree with their tactics, but I AM intrigued! There's just something so hot about girl bands...

MALE VOICE OVER: Are the Ille-Gals vegetarians or vegans? Do they care about the lard in refried beans? What happened to their Quincinera dresses? Find out next time.