Ugusenga (Cantique 49) / “Sweet Hour of Prayer” (from the Book of Hymns)
For years, whenever I saw people who were passionate about prayer, I couldn’t help but think they had it all together. They seemed untouchable—perfect Christians, untouched by the mess of human struggle. In the church, we’re taught to live by the fruits of the Spirit, to embody love, joy, peace, and kindness. But the truth is, I was far from those ideals. I was living in the tension between wanting to be a true disciple and realizing just how broken I really was.
I thought I understood what it meant to follow Christ, to be a disciple. But beneath the surface, I wrestled with anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, selfishness. Lust and deceit crept into my life. My lack of self-control weighed me down. And the worst part? I felt like a hypocrite. I lived two lives—one where I desperately wanted to follow Jesus, and another where I was bound by my failings. The shame I carried made prayer feel like a distant hope, something reserved for “better” Christians.
I tried speaking to others about it, but even their words sometimes fell flat. My pastor encouraged me to pray honestly, to tell God exactly how I felt. Chris Ndikumana also said these simple, yet profound words: “Take your problems to the One who can actually do something about them—Jesus.” He also said, “Don’t run away from Jesus. He’s the only one who can help you.” For a long time, I was running away from the only One who could transform me and help me become the true disciple I longed to be.
So, I did what I had been avoiding—I humbled myself before God. I brought my shattered pieces, my failings, and my sins, and laid them at His feet. I prayed for forgiveness, healing, and a heart that could be molded into something useful for His Kingdom. And more than that, I prayed for a hunger and thirst for the things of God.
In one of the Kanguka teachings on the Holy Spirit (archives 18/03/2024 in the Kanguka app), the man of God spoke about the fruits of the Spirit and their opposites. As he listed bitterness, jealousy, and strife, I saw myself in every negative trait. But he also spoke of a truth that set me free: “You can ask God to enable you to bear fruit, for on our own, we cannot.” It reminded me of Jesus’ words: “I am the vine; you are the branches… apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
That revelation hit me. I had been striving to change myself by sheer willpower, but the fruits of the Spirit are the result of surrender. So, I surrendered. I prayed, even when it felt like I was getting nowhere. I wept, asking God to strip away bitterness, impatience, and selfishness in me. Slowly, I began to see mountains move.
What I couldn’t do in my own strength, God began to do within me. The anger that had consumed me started to loosen its grip. The impatience that once ruled my life gave way to God’s peace. Genuine love, joy, and kindness—the kind I could never manufacture on my own—began to take root. I was no longer pretending to be good. God was changing me from the inside out. And it all began with prayer.
This is why I urge you: bring everything to God in prayer. Not just the easy parts, but the hidden corners, the struggles you’re ashamed of. Prayer is not just a conversation with God when life is good; it’s the lifeline we cling to when we’re overwhelmed by our brokenness.
Jesus is the only One who can take your burdens and transform your life. He’s not waiting for you to be perfect; He’s waiting for you to come to Him as you are, so He can make you new. Don’t hide your weaknesses. Lay them at His feet. He is more than willing to turn your sorrow into joy, your shame into a testimony of grace.
God delights in helping us. He delights in upholding us when we can’t carry the weight ourselves. Take everything you don’t like about your life, your character, your heart—bring it to Him. Don’t hold anything back. The same God who began this transformation in me is waiting to begin one in you. He will take your brokenness and give you a new song of praise.
The Christian walk is a day-to-day journey. Jesus came for broken people like you and me. I have relationships I want restored. I have people I love that I want God to change. I’ve tried with my own strength, with the best speeches and gifts, but I always fell short. I have things in me I want God to transform. But I’ve learned that in my strength, I can accomplish nothing. Prayer has changed everything for me, and it’s still at work as I surrender daily to God.
Jesus is our true lover, and He will not stop washing us until we are blameless and perfect before our glorious Groom.
Let prayer be the place where your transformation begins. It’s not a ritual; it’s an encounter with the One who changes everything.
God bless you,
Uwubafise ku mutima,
Laurette
Audio : Aury Chris Nishimwe / Ahmet Guvenler
Guitar: YOYO
Video : Kutay Alicik
BGV : Aleck Joel Iradukunda / @aleckjoelofficial5211
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