jake and Kristyna continue making fun of the bizarre Jehovah’s Witness “drama”: Remember the Wife of Lot.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “It’d be real nice if there was a link to our stream about Part 1 in the description.” Hell, even if you’ve seen it a million times you’re undoubtedly going to want to go back and relive the glory after seeing the majesty that was part 2! I’m assuming. I’m writing this the night before the stream. That’s sort of the problem, though, if you could call it a problem. And really, if it’s anyone’s problem it’s yours. See, it’s late and I’m stoned and can’t bring myself to open another tab on my browser, pull up my videos, find the link, paste it in here—which doesn’t look like that many steps when I lay it out on the page, but it feels like a lot right now, okay? You might think, in all the time it took me to write this sleepy attempt at one of those annoying “the joke is it goes on for way too long” bits, I probably could have found the link to Part 1. Absolutely that would have been faster, yes. But you would have missed out on a valuable lesson: nobody reads the video description. Ever. I always post my email in the description of every video. Every upload—well most of them, I sometimes forget, sure, okay, you got me. I’m trying my best though. And what do I get? Well other than the satisfaction of creating something and sharing it with you beautiful people, I inevitably get a comment from someone asking for my email, wondering how on earth they can possibly get ahold of me, they’ve exhausted all rational methods and can now only ask directly in a humble YouTube comment. Sometimes they come with a whole story about how they’ve been desperately trying to reach me, scouring the internet for any trace of my email address. They beg me, please sir, where can I possibly find some way of reaching you by electronic mailular communication? They say it just like that, every time. Well, I dare say I question their diligence in finding that email address, dear reader. I really do. You’re learning a little something about diligence, too. I think you’ve also learned a valuable lesson about checking people’s work. You clicked on the description of a video, undoubtedly to find my email and the link to Part 1 of me and Kristyna reacting to this silly cult movie. This was an understandable, even admirable instinct. Yet surely by now, Mr. Bond, you must realize that you have done precisely as I planned. While you were busy reading that distracting drivel, I uploaded the virus straight to England’s orphan supply. Haha just kidding. Just a little James Bond joke there. But seriously, think of all the people out there who never click on the YouTube description. You were like those people once. Now you know—there are probably millions of videos out there where somebody has done this exact same joke, and you never thought to look. I sure didn’t. Whoa. I’m just realizing this in real time, actually. I guess we all learned a little something today. Okay, for real, did you have any idea you’d be reading something like this when you innocently clicked on the description, likely searching for a simple link to Part 1 and one measly email address, an email you could have easily found in any one of my previous video descriptions, assuming I remembered to put it there? From now on you’ll wonder. “Did he decide to do one of THOSE video descriptions?” As if writing something like this is a decision at all, and not a compulsion, a terrible itch, but one inside your head, one that makes you want to push through your own ear just to get at it. Yes, you know about video descriptions now. It will haunt you, as it has me. And think of what the next one might say? For all you know, it could be something like “hey by the way everything I said in this video was actually an ancient curse, and now you’re beholden to a spell I can activate at any time with this whistle.” Lmao, nah. Just kidding, I don’t even own a whistle. But think if I had really done something like that. What a nice little adventure we’ve all had here. Don’t blab about it in the comments and ruin the fun, though. Or do, whatever, I’m not your boss.
email: exjwfaq@gmail.com
Patreon: www.patreon.com/altworldly
Website: jwfaq.org
00:00-07:30 New Year’s Resolutions
07:30-11:35 Part 1 Recap
11:35-1:29:46 DA MOVIE
1:29:46-1:31:51 Not Occult Announcement
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