Kindred | Ep. 5 | Terri's Adoption Story

Abandonment issues! Adoptee identity! Adoption Awareness! Adoption trauma! Adoption Education!
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"What is wrong with me?"
When I heard Terri say that in her interview, I felt my throat tighten as I held back my tears and cries. I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that very question over the years, as a child, as a young adult and now in my mid thirties. I continue to work on this lifelong journey as an adoptee, but there are times, even when everything seems to be going well and right in my life, that I still feel this overwhelming sadness. It can be triggered by something as simple as a friend saying, you should be grateful that you don't have a sister. The friend of course is just trying to be funny, as they talk about the drama between sisters. But what happens is I am then reminded of the sisters I know I have over in Korea, that I will probably never get to meet or have a relationship with. That hurts deeply and profoundly and is difficult to reconcile with. There are just so many things I see, hear and read that can trigger my own adoption trauma.


Terri grew up in a same-race family, with loving parents she bonded deeply with. Despite having strong role models and racial mirrors in her childhood, she still struggled with finding a sense of belonging and a strong sense of identity. This journey to discover her own sense of self has continued into her adult years.

I am incredibly grateful Terri decided to share her adoption story with me. I found myself moved by how honest and vulnerable she was. As a late discovery adoptee, finding out she was adopted at 12 years old, it was very eye opening to me that even before she knew, she still felt a disconnect with her family. There was this fear inside of her that they were going to give her away.

I found so many elements to her story that resonated with me. She truly provides remarkable insight from her own lived experiences and has wonderful advice for adoptive parents and adoptees.

I hope you will bear witness to Terri's incredible, moving and beautiful story.

The impact of adoption is life-long. Each adoptee's story is unique as they continue to process their own adoption and what that means. But for many adoptees they share the feelings of rejection, fear of abandonment, struggles with feeling whole and the profound grief of the many losses in adoption.

Terri is in the process of writing her own memoir called, "X: Memoirs of the Anonymous Me", which should be coming out this year!

Connect with and follow Terri on:
Instagram terrisings
Twitter @terrichampion1

Thank you so much for watching and I hope you'll share with your friends, family and community.

Shelby Redfield Kilgore
An adoptee filmmaker trying to make a difference one film at a time.
www.wearemirrorlight.com

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