Alice’s monologue “eyes wide shut”

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TEXT

Do you remember last summer at
Cape Cod?
Do you remember one night in the dining room?
There was this young naval officer and he was sitting near our table with two other officers?
The waiter brought him a message at which
point he left.
Nothing rings a bell?
Well, I first saw him that morning in the lobby.
He was checking into the hotel and he was following the bell-boy with his luggage, to the elevator. He glanced at me as he walked past, just a glance.
Nothing more.
But I could hardly move.
That afternoon Helena went to the movies with her friend and you and I made love, and we made plans about our future and we talked about Helena and yet at no time was he ever out of my mind.
And I thought if he wanted me, even if it was for only one night, I was ready to give up everything.
You, Helena, my whole fucking future. Everything.
And yet it was weird because at the same time you were dearer to me than ever and at that moment my love for you was both tender and sad. I barely slept that night and I woke up the next morning in a panic.
I didn't know whether I was afraid he had left or that he might still be there, but by dinner I realized he was gone and I was relieved …