Avoidant People Are Often Drawn to People They Can't Have

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Avoidance is a style of relating to other people, often driven by past trauma, that can make you feel overwhelmed and anxious even thinking about connecting with other people. If you’ve ever dating an avoidant person, you know how painful it can be to feel like you can never pin them down for plans, or get a commitment from them. And just when relationships start to feel like they’re going somewhere, the avoidant person will disappear for days or weeks at a time. Avoidants pull away from closeness, even when they want it. And ironically, what avoidant people are sometimes drawn to, is people they can’t have. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is drawn to relationships that can't go anywhere.

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