Scene: The lounge of JACK and JILL'S Villa at New Hampstead. The essential
furniture consists of a table on which are writing materials, and two chairs. As the curtain
rises the lounge is empty, but JACK and JILL come immediately, followed by AUNT JANE.
Jill : And this is the lounge.
Aunt Jane : Charming! Charming! Such a cosy little room! And such pretty furniture.
Jack : (modestly) We like it, you know, handy place to sit in and listen to the
radiogram.
Aunt Jane : Oh, have you got a radiogram as well as a car and a piano?
Jack : Why, of course, Aunt Jane. You simply must have a radio set nowadays.
Jill : And it's so nice for me when Jack's away at business. I even make him
move it into the kitchen, so that I can listen to it while I cook.
Jack : Sit down, Aunt Jane, You must be tired-and we've shown you everything
now.
Jill : What do you think of our little nest, Aunt Jane?
Aunt Jane : I think it's wonderful, my dears. The furniture-and the car-and the pianoand
the refrigerator and the radio-what's it- it's wonderful, really
wonderful!
Jack : And we owe it all to you.
Aunt Jane : Yes, Jack, that's what's worrying me.
Jack : Worrying you, Aunt Jane?
Aunt Jane : Yes. That cheque I gave you for your wedding present-it was only two hundred
pounds, wasn't it? I- didn't put two thousand by mistake?
Jill : Why no, Aunt Jane. What on earth made you think that?
Aunt Jane : (relieved) Well, that's all right. But I still don't altogether understand. This houseit's
very lovely-but doesn't it cost a great deal for rent?
Jack : Rent? Oh, no, we don't pay rent.
Aunt Jane : But, Jack, if you don't pay rent, you'll get turned out-into the street. And that
would never do. You've Jill and the baby to think of now, you know.
Jack : No, no, Aunt Jane. You misunderstood me. We don't pay rent because the house
is ours.
Aunt Jane : YOURS?
Jill : Why, yes; you just pay ten pounds and it's yours.
JACK : You see, Aunt Jane, we realized how uneconomic it is to go on paying rent year
after year, when you can buy and enjoy a home of your own for ten pounds-and
a few quarterly payments, of course. Why be Mr. Tenant when you can be Mr. Owner?
Aunt Jane : I see. Yes, there's something in that. Even so, you must be getting on very well to
keep up a place like this.
Jill : Oh, he is, Aunt Jane. Why, only last year he had a five shilling rise-didn't you,
Jack?
Jack : (modestly) Of course that was nothing, really. I'm expecting ten this Christmas.
Aunt Jane : (suddenly) Jack! I've just thought of something. That car-is it yours?
Jill : Of course it's ours.
Aunt Jane : All yours?
Jack : Well, no, not exactly all.
Aunt Jane : How much of it?
Jill : Oh, I should say the steering wheel-and one of the tyres -- and about two of
the cylinders. But don't you see, that's the wonderful thing about it.
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