Hot-golly-gee.
Emphasis on hot. What is it out here in my part of the southwest, like, 110 degrees ? That’s 40-something degrees Celsius for all you ingrates that’re living outside of the four countries that actually use Fahrenheit. I mean, I don’t think less of you for contesting America’s superior standards of measurement or anything, I just think less of you purely because you’re foreigners. Nothing personal, let’s move on.
But back to what I was saying: hot-golly-gee, is Wild Thing good. This hardcore group has recently emerged from the crusty abscesses of Houston earlier this month, with a nine-track demo that barely clocks in at seven minutes. Nothin’ speaks “All-American Hardcore” more than tracks that breeze through in less than a minute, right boys? These foreigners don’t even stand a chance, they’re too busy fighting their own governments and stuff to even bother contesting our kick-ass punk rock music (Hey, I’ve already established a theme of extreme-patriotism, I might as well commit to it, right? [Editor’s Note: Jimmy actually loves all punks around the globe, he just hates himself more than anything and tries to hide it by insulting anyone he can. If you don’t appreciate his nationalistic statements, feel free to threaten him with physical violence. He’s a bit of a twink and you could probably fuck him up]). It’s a true testament to all the 80s hardcore that some mouth-breathers still worship to this day, with the band likely existing solely to rip off shit from the punk bands their dads listened to. Joking, we all know your parents didn’t listen to punk, you just listened to it on your own to show your parents how much of a special little snowflake you are [Editor’s Note: Jimmy only listened to punk to show his parents how much of a special little snowflake he was. He’s only deflecting that insult at you because it’s the only way he can alleviate his crippling self-doubt.]
Something that struck me as a surprise with Wild Thing is the fact that it’s a five-piece: at a quick-listen, I wouldn’t have suspected that at all. The five members, who also play in other Texas-based projects, assume the traditional roles of a hardcore group, with the addition of a second guitarist being thrown in the mix. On an active listen, I can certainly pick up on the nuances brought forth by the second guitarist, but I still have trouble differentiating the supplementary chords from the bass. I mean, I’m sure the bass is in their somewhere, I just can’t distinguish it as well as I likely should. That could just be a byproduct of my hearing being whittled down after all these years, namely from listening to so much All-American hardcore at full blast. I mean, that’s exactly how an All-American hardcore boy should listen to All-American hardcore, right boys? Hell yeah. [Editor’s Note: Jimmy is Hispanic.] The lead guitarist himself has a different sort of sound going on with the pedal he’s using, making it sound like it’s Baby’s First Buzzsaw™, or some guitar tones that’re emanating from a dilapidated music box. Either way, it’s jarring and unpleasant, just like the rest of the music. As you’d expect, their music is just as playful as it is aggressive, only leaving you seconds to breath in between tracks before it comes back at your throat with its relentless tempo. Even their choice in vocalist is absolutely perfect for the aesthetic they're aiming for, providing just the right amount of snot and disdain to serve as background noise while you hate on people that probably don't deserve it. Even the minor distinctions within the musicianship add a ton to the experience, like the groups' skillful usage of a second guitarist and bass that creates a much-needed depth that would likely leave the music grating and unfulfilling without it. It's clear that they know what they're doing, no matter how obnoxious their music may sound. Wild Thing is true to it's name with its frantic, uncollected demeanor, and seems exactly like the sort of band who'd punch you in the kidneys and take your lunch money, just for fun.
Bad tongue-in-cheek humor aside, Wild Thing is actually really damn impressive, and made for one of the most refreshing bits of 80s-inspired hardcore that I’ve listened to in months. And that’s really saying something, considering how much of a seasoned punk veteran I am.
[Editor’s Note: Jimmy is really nothing more than a giant poser, I hate him. I sometimes wish that I wasn’t a figment of his imagination that he created solely to call himself out in his own writing, that way I could insult him personally.]
[Jimmy’s Note: Eat a dick, editor.]
TRACK LIST:
Don’t Need It – 0:00
N.Y.F. – 0:49
Stranger – 1:41
Head To The Curb – 2:28
Open Minded – 3:23
Sick In The Head – 4:04
No Attitude – 4:51
Delusional – 5:26
Wild Thing – 6:15
DOWNLOAD: http://wildthingwildthing.bandcamp.co...
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