This Decal Makes You Skilled | F-8E (Decal Announcement)

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I GOT MY DECAL EPIC WIN TIME

F-8E Crusader

Thank you everyone for your continued support, it really does mean a lot.

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I really wanted to include this in the video to get it off my chest, but I felt it wasn't appropriate or relevant. I'll stick it down here instead so less people see it lol.

Recently I've fallen in to a really bad depression. I've been struggling super hard with some really intense self-hatred. It's so easy to forget I've built this youtube channel where over 60,000 people liked my videos enough to stick around for future videos. Yet, my brain does this terrible thing where if I don't excel at every single thing I try, even if it's my first time doing something, it will do it's best to convince me that I'm a failing, inferior, incapable, worthless, unlovable, dumpster fire of a human being. It has started to boil over and I haven't been able to contain the internal monologue that has been bouncing around in my skull, and several times recently I've definitely killed some moods and caused some concern in my family and friends with the intensely self-deprecating things that have been coming out of my mouth. It's like my brains way of actually getting it out in to the world that I am suffering, because I won't actually tell anyone how bad I actually feel all the time. This is also why content has been inconsistent in both frequency and quality.

I think I'm coming to realize that for my whole life I've always looked towards the activities I engage with to determine my self-worth instead of objectively looking at myself as a person.

Like this:
I perform well at something = I'm content.
I give a bad performance = I'm a bad person
This is how its been going with every little thing in my life, especially the things I'm passionate about, and is what sort of triggered this specific downturn in my mental health. It's sort of killed everything I enjoy as well.

Separating me from the things I do is extremely challenging for me.

However, I've been a little better the last few days, and I'm feeling ever so slightly more optimistic about what the future holds, and I'm doing everything in my power in order to keep this going. I am not giving up, and if you are going through something similar, I encourage you to persevere as well.

Take care of yourselves. Talk to someone. You are worth it.